1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

please reply, a bit confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Marshall 89, Apr 12, 2014.

  1. Marshall 89

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I am a straight man, with many gay and lesbian friends.Ive been celibate for three years after a heartbreaking split with a long term girlfriend. Im still exclusively physicaly/sexually attracted to females but I do notice good looking men, not in a senseOf attraction but more as observation.*I feel more at ease with my gay friends than straight.*I am a bit more feminine emotionally than the sterotypical male. (Dont care for sex, but love. Want more to have someone to hold than to have intercourse, etc)The observation of physical attributes, my own emotional Longings, and my sense of ease with homosexuals compared to my anxiety around straight friends (both male and female) has lately led me to question my own sexual identity.*The thought of gay sex or any intimate contact other than the casual handshake hug or peck on the cheek from a gay friend does not interest or me in the least.*I am only phyically attracted to females.Is it possible I could be emotionally gay and physically straight??Is this odd??
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's certainly possible, but from what you've told us I'm not convinced that's what's going on...

    The only thing you've mentioned that suggests an orientation change is "I feel more at ease with my gay friends than straight."

    So I have 2 questions for you.

    1. In terms of personality, how are your gay friends different than your straight friends?

    2. Think about your straight friends. Now think about your gay friends. How does it feel when you think about each of those groups and are those feelings different?
     
  3. Marshall 89

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2014
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    First off I am in recovery for alcohol and drug abuse and I somehow wound up living in a sober home that is predominatly homosexual. Through my actions during my addiction I lost all the friends I ever had, although most were just druging and drinking buddies.
    The only friends I have, I have gained since getting sober.
    My straight sober friends are indifferent and self absorbed, and the gay friends are compassionate and caring.

    I dont really feel much toward either group becides disgust toward the straight friends for how they treat and speak about women, (as i said before, im not your typical male)
    and I feel accepted and loved by the small sober lgbt community im involved with.

    I suppose I wasnt totally honest with myself or this forum...
    I have had fleeting moments of attraction toward men in the past, but nothing lasting. I dont think I could have sex with a male...

    ---------- Post added 13th Apr 2014 at 04:18 PM ----------

    Idk what im trying to say or what to think just thoughly fucking confused
     
  4. YuriBunny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2014
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You could be... homoromantic heterosexual?

    That's what it sounds like to me anyway. Only you can really know what your sexuality is.
     
  5. AKTodd

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2013
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Norfolk, VA
    From what you've written, you've been lucky enough to meet some really nice people as part of your recovery. If they've been nice to you and supportive and caring of you, and you all share a bond due to similar experiences in regards to recovering from substance abuse then it seem logical that you would end up feeling close to/at ease with them. That they are mostly LGBT is an interesting coincidence but doesn't really say anything about your sexuality one way or the other.

    Based on what you've written, I'd say you are straight, but somewhat more mature and possibly comfortable with yourself than the straight people you normally associate with. However, being more mature such that you prefer to treat women a certain way and aren't freaked out by being around gay people (we don't bite after all), doesn't mean you're gay.

    As far as being able to tell that a guy is good looking - You (and pretty much every other person in Western civilization) have spent your entire life on the receiving end of a multi-billion dollar industry whose sole purpose is to tell you what constitutes a good looking man or woman (and then what products you should buy and things you should do, to be more like them). I suspect most straight guys know what combination of features make for a 'good looking' man, if for no other reason than knowing who is the real competition in the contest to attract females. Knowing on an intellectual level what makes a good looking guy isn't the same as having desire to be intimate or sexual with him. Again, it doesn't really mean anything re your orientation IMHO.

    My 2c worth,

    Todd