Well I'm confused.... Please help

Let me start off saying that I think I'm gay but not sure. To explain why I'm confused will take a moment, so I hope y'all are patient.

I am a 26 year old man with erectile dysfunction. This has been a problem my entire life. As a teenager I was homophobic to the extreme. I did not even consider being attracted to other guys. My parents are deeply religious and routinely compare homosexuality to pedophilia and bestiality. I was fascinated by girls as a small child and as a teenager. This is not to say I was attracted to them. I just found them to be curious. All of my peers would talk about how beautiful, hot, gorgeous, etc certain girls were. I actually trained myself to recognize traits in a pretty girl and be attracted to them. It was a strange time and it affects me to this day.

As I grew older I started trying to have sex with girls. Due to my E.D. this did not work out very well. It wasn't till I was much older that I finally had success in this department. Before that, I was desperate to make some kind of sexual connection with girls. I scoured the internet for clues. I found a short clip of a video that seemed to be the answer. It was a porn video where a girl was wearing a strap on and the guy was on the receiving end a.k.a. pegging. Ladies and Gentlemen, I was hard for the first time in weeks when I saw that.

It wasn't that simple though. I was deeply homophobic at the time and I dismissed it as gay. I then looked at regular porn and used it as a training session to make myself more attracted to women. The idea of the strap on would not leave my brain however. Since it was gay (in my mind at the time) for a guy to be on the receiving end of a strap on, I began to look at lesbian porn featuring strap ons. I focused on the strap on in each video to the exclusion of almost anything else.

This phase lasted until the first semester of my second year at college. Everything changed when two things happened almost simultaneously. The first thing is that I became friends with a dominant woman who was very much into pegging and explained to me that it very much was not gay. This made it palatable to my mind and I began to consider it.

The second thing is that I installed the stumble upon tool bar and set it to look at hentai. One of the first things it stumbled to was futanari (Porn featuring either hermaphrodites or girls who have dicks instead of vaginas). I ran away from the futanari at first, but I rationalized in my head that it was still a girl as long as she had a vagina. After a while I stopped caring if she had a vagina or not and just focused on porn where the futa was sleeping with either girls or other futas.

At the beginning of the second semester of that year, my dominant female friend convinced me to try pegging. I don't really have words for how life changing that experience was, so I will just say I very thoroughly enjoyed it. I then began to identify as a submissive and looked for dominant women who enjoyed pegging.

I also changed the focus of my porn viewing to scenes where the futa women were sleeping with guys, specifically topping the guys. I began to look more and more at the dicks on these drawn women, and soon just thinking about it was enough to make me attempt to see if I could get hard.

Due to failing grades I dropped out of college and joined the Navy. All through training my porn viewing stayed the same as it was right before I dropped out of college. I hooked up with a couple more dominant women and truly began to love being on the receiving end. I was able to have whole body orgasms due solely to anal stimulation. I still rarely got hard, and I also rarely ejaculated, but I felt I was beginning to feel like I had found my niche.

During this time, my homophobia was also dwindling. I could not bring myself to hate or fear men who enjoyed the same thing I did. I just thought that they were strange for choosing a guy for it.

When I finally finished training, I was assigned a ship and moved across the country. Once on this ship, I quickly managed to irritate my chain of command and it began to seem as though I would never make any friends. I was worried that I was going to be miserable for the next few years when I noticed a guy in my division who also had few friends.

I decided that he was going to be my friend. He resisted the idea at first and tried to be a little off putting. I was fascinated. Eventually, he gave up trying to chase me away and we became friends. He began to tell me more about himself. It turned out that he was a furry and later he admitted that he was gay. He asked me not to tell anyone and I complied. Don't ask, don't tell was still in effect at this time.

This guy became the best friend I have ever, and, I think, will ever have. After hanging out with him it seemed like the last vestiges of any homophobia I had disappeared. I began to think that being gay was alright, it was just for other people. Fast forward two years.

I have exhausted just about all of the futanari porn I can find on the internet. I am almost willing to pay for access to special sites to find more when I accidentally open a link to a "shemale" video where the shemale is topping a guy. I didn't even hesitate.

While posted on this ship I had also managed to get a prescription for viagra. I managed to have normal sex with more than one girl on more than one occasion and felt.... gross afterwards. There was also the problem of not being able to orgasm during the intercourse. It was fun, but mostly unsatisfying. I realized that I do not particularly care for topping anyone. In my mind I was to be on the receiving end.

After a year and a half more of this, while bottoming to a couple more dominant women I got out of the Navy. Before I went back home, I wound up in a hotel room with a gay guy friend of mine who was giving me a ride around while my truck was being fixed up. He offered to give me a massage, and well one thing led to another. The difference between the real thing and a strap on is huge. I can't even begin to explain how much more satisfying it was.

The problem is I was not attracted to his body form at all. I had trained myself to like the female form very well by this point. The only part of him that I really, really liked was his penis. Since I wasn't attracted to his body at all, nor did I find his face appealing, I decided that while the sex was amazing, I must be straight.

Fast forward most of year, and I have come to realize that I just straight up find vaginas repulsive. My dilemma is that I have trained myself to like the female form, just not the female genitalia. I like the male genitalia and not most male forms.

I have tried watching gay porn and find that the super muscly manly men in it are fairly horrifying. I tend to use literary porn about dominant pre op MtF transgendered individuals who top men as my primary material these days.

I don't know if I'm bi, gay, or just confused. Thoughts and advice are welcome.