So, I was out with three friends recently: Trisha who is a lesbian, Laura who is bi-curious and John who is straight. I'm a bi-gendered physical female and I'm interested in the fellas. The girls hadn't met my other friend before and they all seemed to be getting on reasonably well. Trisha and Laura had spent most of the day flirting. Trish has a definite thing for Laura and Laura seems to like her very much too but won't admit anything either way. Because of this, Trisha also flirted with me a few times to see if Laura reacted jealously (which she did). As the day drew to a close we were all sat around a table and Trisha and Laura were very openly discussing their relationship. John chose that moment to say, very loudly, "Two gay people and two straight people then. Alexia's straight." This was weird because A) nobody had even mentioned me and B) John isn't usually prejudice at all against the LGBT community. In fact, he's taken part in a lot of charity work for support groups and I've only ever seen him treat everybody equally. Naturally, the silence went on for a fair bit after that. It didn't even get laughed off, everyone in the situation just realized they had no pre-programmed response to the situation, found making one too difficult and just moved on with a different topic. He spent the rest of the day 'policing' my masculine behaviours. This coming from somebody whose best friend dresses in full on male drag at the weekends. He knows that I'm bi-gender and has seemed indifferent about it in the past. My question here is why on Earth did he do it? It seemed to me almost like he felt the need to 'defend' my female side and my attraction to men - and that just isn't him at all.
He hedged around the question when I asked and muttered something about it not being a lie. I agree though, obviously nobody can answer it with 100% certainty like he could. It doesn't matter I suppose, it was just strange to see an ally turn like that.
The thing is, if he is skirting around it and =justifying it by saying that it isn't a lie, you are looking at 2 possibilities. 1. He feels stupid for saying it 2. He thinks it was a good idea and doesn't want to upset you Either way I think it's worth saying to him that saying it wasn't OK and asking for an apology.
Yeah, I pulled him on it afterwards and pointed out how rudely he acted. He didn't apologize to them as far as I'm aware though. He's completely ditched all male pronouns for me since that day and no longer calls me Alex. It's Alexia full time now, which is fine enough since it's accurate sometimes, but I sincerely hope he isn't acting this way with other people now too.
Then again, you need to ask him about that. If he's completely ignoring the male side of you for whatever reason the least he could do is explain why...
Well, just a suggestion, it is possible he has a crush on you and I'd denying your masculinity because he's afraid what that would imply, second option is, well. I don't know I can't think of another reason to change the way you act on front of friends.
he likes you but identifies as straight, so if he can think of you as a straight female then he can continue with his crush and possible fantasies of dating
Does it matter if he calls you straight? You feel as if you are a woman and a man so part of you would be straight right?? You wouldn't even be considered trans.
