I have a good friend and I really like this person a lot. He is very polite and gentle hearted in a way that a lot of people don't seem to be. But I've noticed some really odd behavior on his part over the two years I've known him but this has recently escalated. He is a very religious while I'm not, but I don't have a problem with his views so long as he doesn't force them on me and for the most part he doesn't. Yesterday he admitted to me he has same sex attractions. He told me he has a lot of guilt over "sin" and when someone asked what he does that could possibly be considered sinful he told them he "struggles in his mind with thoughts against the will of God" and he thinks about sex and homosexuality a lot. He told me he tries hard to refrain from masturbation. As he tells me this in confidence he grabs his head in anguish and blinks hard over and over again as if he's in agony. He has told me before that he has been suicidal to the point of holding a gun in his mouth but that prayer helped him out of it. When I asked him why he was suicidal he said it was too personal to talk about. He has also told me he believes that homosexuality is caused by gender non-conforming children being told that they're gay and then complying with peoples expectations of them. He said that as a child he was very shy and sensitive and didn't like sports but over the past few years tried to take an interest in them. Recently we had some raw feelings between us when he brought up my feminine qualities as a negative saying that I did certain things "like a girl" and that it bothered him. I was not upset that he said I had feminine traits but that he brought it up in a negative way. He later apologized. After he realized my feelings had been hurt by him saying that he looks at me and says "you're not ugly but I can't tell another man he's attractive,". I honestly think he was attacking me out of his own insecurities. I'm really surprised that in this era of gay tolerance and acceptance, even in a rural and conservative area, someone could be that repressed. I wish that I could find some way to help him and make him realize that his feelings aren't going away.
Show him some good sites for accepting homosexuality for religious people if you caan. Tell him that you really care about him and that you hope that he can accept his homosexuality or at least start working towards it. If he's having suicidal thoughts, though, he needs help right away. Check out the hotlines for the Trevor Project and other sites and hotlines for friends and family of people having suicidal thoughts.
This is tough, I don't know what to say other than reassure him that he can talk top you about anything. Be the best friend you can be to him day in and day out. Make Sure to reinforce that you well love him no matter who he is. Tell him about EC, it might help him to talk about his problems anonymously.
