I am a girl, and I occasionally experience attraction to boys (sometimes possibly sexual). But I've noticed that whenever I have to talk alone with a boy I like, I get very uncomfortable. When we talk in a group, it's fine, but once it's just us, it just gets so awkward that it doesn't feel right. Of course, most people do get nervous around their crushes, but I feel like it shouldn't be as awkward as it is. The part that confuses me the most is that sometimes, I do find the one-on-one conversations with him enjoyable to a certain extent- once or twice, I could literally feel that rush of dopamine However, it always feels like the anxiety is ruining the moment. I enjoy physically being around him, but actually having a conversation with him makes me so uncomfortable. It's as uncomfortable for me as talking to a teacher. It's not like the thought of physical contact makes me shudder or anything, but it just doesn't feel right talking to him. It feels like it would feel right if only conversations just came naturally to us. I used to want a boyfriend really badly, but now I'm not so sure. What would I even do with a boyfriend? Cuddling and holding hands and kissing appeal to me, but then what? What happens when everything else is always awkward and the only time when we can fully enjoy talking to each other is when we're hanging out with a larger group of friends? I don't think I've never felt that romantic "spark" with a boy before. Did I even actually like the boys I thought I liked? I often think "wow, he's really cute" or "dang, his body... so hot" or "aww, he's such a sweet and adorable guy", but it's more like I find him physically appealing, and when I am attracted to his personality, it's more like the affection I'd feel for a puppy.
What you are experiencing in no way makes you gay. The definition of being gay is being attracted to the same sex, which you don't indicate in the least. Don't worry too much. (And as someone who is fairly feminine, yeah, most guys are pretty difficult to connect with, it's like they don't have any sense of empathy...)
That's not fair, I have loads of empathy, lol I do get your point though. But no you are by no means "turning" gay, your just a bit awkward and there is nothing wrong with that.
Listen the sparks don't mean anytihng get rid of that whole idea. That is not love. Love is not butterflies or this rush of dopamine. The rush of dopamine is lust and infatuation. Proof to usr for identifying your sexuality. But whomever u love, be it boy or girl...love is not butterflies or the sparks. Love canot be explained. Its like...u just wanna spend time with someone for no reason all day long. That's love. Its not relly a special feeling that explodes it self all the time. sometimes we don't realize how much we love someone until they are gone. Love, is no rsh of dopamine or anything. that's all the beginning stuff like lust and infatuation..only lasts a few months.
See, the thing is I do feel that rush of dopamine and the sparks with other girls, and I get other crush-like symptoms for girls, but without the awkwardness, so I can safely say that I am attracted to girls. I was just wondering if maybe my feelings for girls only started developing/got stronger because something is making me uncomfortable with boys. Actually, I can relate to boys more easily than to girls, and I find that I myself usually think like a male. (btw I'm probably not trans, though, since I'm quite happy being a girl) I can be friends with a guy easily, but it gets really uncomfortable when it's a guy I like. (or, at least, I think I like him)
I think with the age you are, it's perfectly normal to be confused and questioning your sexuality. Have you ever felt the same way about a girl as you do about your boy crushes(with or without the awkwardness)? I always get a little bit embarrassed or awkward whenever i talk to a crush (or even partners sometimes) i have, whether it be in person or online. Maybe that is all it is? Also i have what has been described as a very "boyish" personality and get on with boys a lot better than i get on with a lot of girls, but that doesn't necessarily mean just cause i'm boyish that i should automatically be interested in girls.
Yes, I do get similar feelings for girls, but without the awkwardness. It's like the rush of emotions I feel around boys I like isn't worth the awkwardness. Is it because the attraction isn't strong enough to begin with? Or is the lack of awkwardness around girls a sign that I'm not actually attracted to them in that way? The thing is, I am an awkward person in general, and it does get awkward with girls sometimes, but it's not the being around them that is awkward. With girls, it's usually physical contact that makes me awkward, like "asdf I'm giving her a piggyback ride... am I supposed to be grabbing her legs like this? Did I just touch her butt? Should I apologize?" Conversation comes easily enough, though. On the other hand, with boys, it's more like, "What am I even supposed to say? Why is this so hard for me? It's not even an awkward topic. He's freaking talking about his favorite music. I like music. He likes music. Why should this be so hard?" And usually I end up just smiling and nodding at whatever he says. With girls, how am I supposed to know whether I love her like a sister or I love her romantically?
I don't think it is. Sexuality is something we are born with, so I don't think its from stress. As a girl like you going through a lot of stress(Being a lez and Christian) but it didn't make me a lesbian. I believe that God made me gay. Yes, I am aware some translations make it sound like a sin, but it aint. Theres no greek word for homosexual. Thats beside the point. Like I said, who you love is just a part of you. And there's nothing wrong with that at all. Don't worry about it. We're here for you.
So what you're saying is, you are attracted to men and women? Socializing and dating are a whole other thing from attraction. And trust me when I say that even if it looks like all your friends are having an easier time with this, they really are not.
only you can know whether you are attracted, romantically, or sexually, to the same sex, at 14, you've got plenty of time to work it out, and if it helps, experiment with your friends, etc.
