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I'm not sure I want to be gay...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by gaynerd64, Apr 22, 2014.

  1. gaynerd64

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    I am obviously gay but I am not sure if I want to be gay or not...
     
  2. Querying

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    Haha if it was a choice...

    Unfortunately, you don't get a choice. None of us do. Our queerness was thrust upon us, and none (or at least only a small minority) of us wanted it. Many of us tried to fight it off or hide it away; tried to believe we were straight, and tried to play the role of the straight cisgendered people we're 'supposed' to be.

    So your options are not 'be straight or be gay'. Instead, you're offered, 'accept yourself, or spend your life pretending to be someone you're not'.

    I recommend the first option. Good luck.

    (I hope I didn't come across as too unfeeling; it's just something we all have to go through. We're all in this together - you're not the only one who wishes they were straight. All of us have at some point, even if we're happier now.)
     
  3. King

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    Nobody wants to be gay, but it is the way you were born and it is far better to accept than spending all your life wondering 'what if' and regretting hiding it. If you feel at danger from people or being kicked out etc then a more cautious approach would be needed of course.

    It is tough, but support mechanisms like this website exist for you to talk over any of your problems.
     
  4. biggayguy

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    I desperately didn't want to be gay! I fought against it for decades. The thing is you can't hide from yourself forever. Gay is the way I was made. It took me most of my life to accept it.:smilewave
     
  5. KyleCats

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    Never do this ^

    You'll be okay. Love yourself for who you really are.
     
  6. BMC77

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    As others have said, you don't have a choice if you are gay or not. You only have a choice how you deal with the fact.

    And trust me: trying to "avoid being gay" doesn't work. Take a good, long hard look at the LGBT Later in Life forum to see how well trying to be straight works.