Feel like I cant relate to anyone these days.One day I feel okay with being the way I am.The next I feel like I just wish things were different.I just feel tired of all of this.I wish it was a ''choice'' as some people insist it is.But it sure as hell is not...Otherwise I would have chosen to be straight ages ago.I dont even know what I feel anymore.Just a sad type of emotional exhaustion.But sad is not even the right word.I am past that.Now its just feeling hopeless and invisible.I thought that I would at least have felt a bit more relief that I am out.But at this stage I do not care anymore.People know,so freaking what.I dont even know if I want a partner either. Tired of being the guy talked over.Tired of being the ''gay'' friend.Tired,tired,tired of it all.
Hang on in there mate. There are many others feeling the same way as you so please don't think you're on your own, because you're not. Talking to someone, whether it's on here or to a counsellor or friend helps enormously, and helps you to realise there are always people out there who genuinely care about you.
lol those aren't things any of us choose either. And if you try to choose a way of life against your nature you're just going to make yourself more miserable.
There's no use fighting this anymore.Making myself needlessly unhappy.Its what I make of this experience that ultimately counts.
