Okay, I am pretty sure I am bisexual, a Homo-Demi [Demisexual] Hetero-Romantic Bisexual, but I am still not completely sure. I have been questioning for almost 8 months now and I really want to be 100% sure, especially since the label I think fits for me (bisexual) has a lot of stigma to it. So, please, I would really appreciate it if I could get some help! Thanks for it all! <3 So, I grew up as a Christian (and I still am), so the topic of homosexuality has never been looked up on. Anyways, my first time questioning was in late August, one month before I turned 16. It was after I had sexually fantasize over another woman and got turned on by the thought of sex with her sooo much. I looked online, where they said it wasn't about the fantasy, so I didn't think I had any feelings towards girls. Then, however, I realize, that since 7th grade, which is 4+ years now, I have ALWAYS sexually fantasized about women, it was NEVER about men when it came to pleasure. Hip thrusting or abs don't arouse me, but women in bikinis did. As for emotional, I wasn't so sure. Back in the middle school, I found some very strong emotional bond with a few women after knowing them for a while - One of them was my PE teacher (I know teacher x students relationships are wrong, I know not to attempt them). Like, I looked back in my diary and her name was all over in it. I really wanted her to care about me and I got mad every time she didn't talk to me as much as she did to the other students, and I was really nervous around her. A similar thing happened with one of my other girl classmates too, like I simply adored her. However, that has been like 3 years ago and now, I am just stuck. I realize I do have emotional feelings towards men, but besides one guy I liked in 9th grade & one guy that I had a small crush on recently, those are really the only times I can remember falling in love. I really haven't fallen in love or even think about love that often until I question my sexuality last August. The only exception would be like Korean boy band members who I did experience some feels with, but now, I don't even really care about them, at least not in that way. I feel like demisexuality (not experiencing attraction until forming a strong emotional bond with someone) is a big part of my sexuality too. Even though I'm not demisexual with guys (a demisexual online told me it was common for biromantic demisexuals to be demi towards one sex but not the other), I still don't even fall in love with them that much & I only get small crushes based only on their cuteness & after they are out of my sight, I don't even think about them really. Also, does emotional and romantic mean two different things? For me, it does. Because I feel emotionally attracted to guys a lot more than romantically. Of course, I would like dating a guy and stuff, but even that guy I really liked in ninth grade... See, I never even actually thought about kissing him. Nor the boy band members I had the "feels" for, like I wasn't like kissing Kai's (from EXO) picture from the computer, despite him being one of my biases. I only thought about kissing guys when I felt like I had to put it in the romance stories I write. As for girls, I do feel to get emotional attraction, I need that bond (however, I'm still not sure because there HAVE been exceptions), but when I think about my ideal girlfriend and her kissing me and cuddling with me and taking care of me and always being there with me, I... I just feel something so special and now, I am even craving a girlfriend more than a boyfriend.... Of course, I am still not sure about my sexuality! It may also be a good idea to mention that I've basically been away from people for 2 and half years on online school and the time I started questioning myself was in my latest year of online schooling and I barely see people until I go to school for tests and tutoring. Like seriously, I am mostly always around my parents only, and maybe perhaps I need to be around people, especially if I am demisexual, to determine my feelings better? I really do think that is one of the problems. Also, I am 16 and have never dated anyone, and I am pretty shy around others so I don't have any friends at the moment either. In conclusion, I just really want to know because, since I am finding my sexuality is in the middle of the spectrum, I am so scared of all the stigma that comes from being bisexual or even bisexuals judging me because they don't think I am really bisexual because of my demisexuality or being too young or something, and I really don't want to keep using the bisexual label if it really doesn't describe me... Which is why I could use some of you guys opinions! To sum it all up... Boys: - I have emotional and romantic attraction to them. - It normally is based more on looks though and I have only fallen in deep love with one person in real life, though that might have something to do with not being around people enough to get close to one. - I don't have sexual attraction for guys, I really don't want to have sex with them, although fanfiction yaoi arouses me a little, thinking about sex or getting physical with a guy disturbs me. Girls: - For the most part, I think I need an emotional bond to fall have emotional and romantic feelings for girls. - However, thinking about kissing girls, dating girls, and even marrying a girl are very pleasing feelings for me. - Very sexual attracted to them. Again, please do read everything and give me your honest opinions on them! I really do feel like I identify with the bi and demi label, but I really want to make sure that's what I really am. If this helps, I also admit to being more curious about homosexuality ever since I've questioned myself. And I also end up thinking about sexual orientation a lot... Perhaps thinking about it so much is confusing me even more and should I just take some time to wait and understand what my heart wants instead of trying to rush? It really is hard to rush though, I mean, it's been months and most people already know who they are at my age Thanks for all the help you guys!!! Have a great day!! :icon_bigg
If I was to guess you sound more lesbian than bi but only you will be able to decide for yourself. Try looking at pictures of both men and women possibly.
I go with David. For me it also sounds that you could like girls more. Maybe a lesbian with a bit biromantic, idk. Only you can find out for yourself. But I think labeling isn't that important. Just call it what you feel most comfortable with
I don't feel like I am completely lesbian, but I might have more of a preference for girls that I just didn't realize yet! And I'll do that too! Thanks for helping so much!! I'm here to talk if you also need me!! Have a great day and thanks again!! :icon_bigg:eusa_clap ---------- Post added 25th Apr 2014 at 03:37 PM ---------- Yeah, maybe I might have more of a preference for women! And yes, I know, but sometimes I just want a label that 100% defines me and I get frustrated even though my sexuality is really different. However, I do feel more comfortable using the Homo-Demi Hetero-Bisexual label! Thanks SO much for your help! I appreciate it and I'm here if you need anything as well! Have a great day and thanks again!:icon_bigg(*hug*)
