I've always fancied boys, I was nicknamed 'maneater' by a few friends once upon a time. I would never leave one relationship without knowing who my next 'victim' would be. That's how it's always been. I've been single now for 14 months - I've dated a few men but all of them now seem to bore me, none can hold my interest. Thought I was just in a rut or maybe enjoying single life. Then I met... Her. And right away there was an attraction, a spark - a connection. And I know she felt it too, she's said as much. I don't know her that well, we've been chatting and I think possibly flirting - some of the things she says... I can't tell if she wants me or if she is just doing the complimentary thing that girls sometimes do to friends. I can't tell if she's being overly complimentary and nice because she really wants to make a new friend ( I don't think she has many) or because she actually fancies me back... I don't want to come onto her and risk losing her as a friend - or for her to think I've only been chatting and nice to her because I fancy her - and I can't bare the thought of her rejecting me. I'm excited to see her again and grin when I think of her - it's been a long time since I've ever thought that about a man... I don't know what I am - bicurious, bisexual, lesbian - all I know is that I want her and need to find a way of finding out if she wants me, in the easiest and gentlest way possible - any ideas anyone?
I think the best thing to do is ask directly and be honest about what you want. If you are not sure say so. Playing games just leads to pain for all parties involved.
Is there a way of being honest without looking like a complete prat if I've read into everything the wrong way?
I am not going to lie, there is a risk of her rejecting you. That is the risk you take being honest about your feelings. What might help to think about is that a friendship where you can't be honest about the big things will eventually run into problems. Being in love is one of those big things, and the harder you fall the harder it is going to be to function. Eventually you will have to say something. Be careful to let them know that you are not trying to force a decision on them and that your feelings are no way a judgement of thier own orientation.
