Hello Not sure how much sense this will make but here goes... I'm 22, female and had my first boyfriend when I was 16 - which only lasted for a week, then I had my first girlfriend when I was 19 - we went out for about a year. No relationships in between, I'm not the prettiest so no one shows any interest in being more than friends, so I've had very little relationship experience. When I had my girlfriend I came out (but not properly) as Bi and up until recently that's what I thought I was. But recently I've been thinking more about girls and when I think of guys I find attractive I don't feel physically attracted to them (I don't want to sleep with them but I think they're gorgeous/fancy them) I feel I'm more sexually attracted to girls and think I would prefer to be in a relationship with a girl so I'm starting to think maybe I'm a Lesbian and not Bi like I thought. I have slept with a couple of guys but I didn't enjoy it much so that is also making me think that I'm a Lesbian (but that could have been because they weren't very good?!) I don't have much experience in a relationship/in bed (with either sex) so I don't know if that affects any of this. Need some advice/help with where to go from here. Do I come out a Lesbian? Or because I still fancy men am I still Bi? So confused!! I've also started watching the L word - which I love! But I'm wondering if this is having any affect on what I'm feeling/thinking, what do you guys think?
Hello! Remember, it's normal to question your sexuality, and sexuality is a hard thing to figure out, so don't worry too much if you can't figure it out right away! Anyways, I think you could be a biromantic lesbian, since you have romantic feelings for both, but seem to have a greater romantic and a sexual attraction with girls. I don't think you should exactly come out as a lesbian yet, because you do want to be completely sure! I still think you have romantic feelings towards men, and although being or not being relationships doesn't necessarily determine who you are, maybe it could help you figure out who you are more. I would say to compare men you think are most handsome and women who think are most beautiful and then see which one gives you more feels!! I'm still questioning myself, though I am pretty sure I am bi. And I love The L Word, but no, despite all of the hot lesbian sex (lol), it won't turn you gay or make you have feelings for girls - The only thing it could do is make you realize any feelings you might have for girls when you see women kissing and in relationships, etc. So yep, I think biromantic lesbian describes you, though I still think you may need more time to think it all through!! If you need anymore help, just let me know!!
Wow a biromantic lesbian?! That could be it haha there's so many different words out there to describe yourself. Gonna take some time and figure it out thanks
Sometimes, it's best to just put the labels aside and focus on how we feel. If you respond to your feelings and let things take their natural course the labels will often sort themselves out. I know you said you still find guys attractive, but not to the point where you want to sleep with them. Remember, your sexual orientation is determined by who you will sleep with, or more specifically, who you will have a sexual relationship with. If guys are not doing it for you sexually anymore, what does it tell you? Try not to overthink it for now though as it just makes things really confusing. Go with your feelings if you can and let it sort itself out.
