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Is gay porn making me confused?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by confuseduser99, Apr 26, 2014.

  1. confuseduser99

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    Hey everyone,

    I remember watching gay porn for my first time when I was around 13-14 years old. I'm now 20 years old. I can't remember how I stumbled upon it, but it was a solo video. Ever since that video/experience, I recall watching more and more gay porn videos (from age 14 to 15 or so, I watched a lot of it, without ever questioning my sexuality).

    I really enjoyed watching gay porn, but went cold turkey when I was around 16-17 for a fear of being gay. I didn't question my sexuality much, I just thought I was straight and liked gay porn. I only watched straight porn (although, I would focus on the male).

    I'm now back to watching gay porn frequently now, and have been thinking a lot more now about my sexuality (this entire month, I've really been pondering upon my sexuality). I don't know what I am (see other thread here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...134205-im-confused-20-year-old-male-help.html) and I'm just really confused!

    Could the gay porn have possibly wired me into liking (or thinking that I like) men? Given the young age that I started watching porn, could that have messed up my sexual receptors, making my brain react to men more than women in a positive way?
     
  2. resu

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    No, porn cannot rewire your sexuality. You can get sexually aroused and masturbate to many things, so don't use porn as a guide. When I was first starting to go into puberty at 11-12, I exclusively watched straight "porn" (mostly women in swimsuits), and that's what I masturbated to. Like you, around 13-14, I got into gay porn and quickly lost all my interest in straight porn. To this day, I still prefer gay porn and often feel nothing when looking at women. It took me a couple of years, but I basically came to accept I was gay, even though I stayed in the closet.

    What you might think about is what are your real-world sexual attractions like. What happens when you see a very good-looking guy or girl? For me, having repeated exclusively male-focused crushes was a pretty big sign I was gay, more than anything to do with porn.
     
  3. TurnerDogg

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    No, that's seemingly physically impossible. Unless you were forced to watch them/get off to them, then no...

    And dude, if you get off to other men then I'm pretty sure that makes you gay...speaking from personal experience..But then again being gay IS a life choice.

    It's like a fetish; if popping balloons turns you on then you my friend have a balloon fetish!
     
  4. Trentacles

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    Well watching straight porn definitely didn't turn me straight.
     
  5. NicoletteChris

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    I actually don't believe that porn is a great guideline for deciding what your sexuality is. A lot of people are into a lot of different things and to base your sexuality purely off of porn isn't really that legitimate (at least to me.)

    Now, if you're turned on by gay porn and also turned on by men in public and frequently have fantasies of being with men then I'd classify you as having a sexual interest in men making you anything but straight or asexual. I don't believe porn can really change your sexuality. Can it make you question and open to a few new things? Yes, maybe depending on the person but porn can't hardwire your sexuality for you. Sexuality is innate and already in you.

    My best actual advice for you since you seem to be struggling lately is to stay on this forum, chat, look around, ask more questions, and make some new friends. I also would advise to maybe pay a visit to your local LGBT center. There are counselors there and if you really want some professional help or some guidance from someone trained in helping people go there. Or if you want even look for a local therapist who may also specialize in lgbt issues or sexuality identity. Talk it out with someone who will listen to and not judge you. Another thing, you say you're a Christian who may have problems coming to terms with your sexuality because of your religion. There are churches that are open to gay individuals/ founded by them, there are LGBT churches. I would look for one in your area or if there aren't any, look online. You may find a gay Christians forum or website that can put your mind at ease.

    And lastly, if I were you I'd try to test your comfort with the possibility of being gay. Maybe there are some clubs or workshops that your local LGBT center is offering. Who knows you may make some friends at the gay workshops plus it's a safe friendly environment to start testing the waters in instead of being thrown out in the gay night club experience which can be sorta hectic and crazy.

    You might be gay, or might not be. In the end, only you know it. But it would be a good idea to start maybe experimenting with your sexuality. Maybe try going on some casual dates with guys and girls and seeing who you felt the most comfortable and happiest with.
     
  6. happydavid

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    No you are who you are but nothing wrong with that.