Okay, so, I am a 19 year old girl. I've been dating my boyfriend for 10 months and I love him very very much, I really do. It's just, lately, I've been having all these dreams about girls. It's not as if this is the first time I've noticed these feelings, I've actually been noticing them since I was about 12. I just always figured it was nothing and that everyone felt like that sometimes. I guess I should be explaining myself better..let me start with my boyfriend, let's call him M. M and I have been together for 10 months. I love him so much, and I want to be with him. It's very serious between us. Currently, we are in a long distant relationship. I haven't seen him since January and probably won't see him again until our anniversary in June. He knows that I feel attracted to girls sometimes, I'm just not sure he knows to what extent. I have battled with the idea that I might be bisexual since I was 12. I started noticing that I felt attracted to girls, but not that I wasn't attracted to boys as well. I began to accept the idea, although I didn't like to identify as being bisexual. I didn't want someone to misconstrue what I meant. I feel like, sometimes when you tell people you are bisexual they think it just means you want to seem sexy. That really isn't the case so it's easier for me to just tell people I'm open to love from anywhere. I've only ever kissed one girl in my life, and it was just her being drunk and kissing everyone. I haven't ever actually gotten to be with a girl. Lately, I think about being with girls a lot. I look at girls way more than guys, other than my boyfriend of course. That's just it though, I'm in a serious relationship and I'm scared. I don't want to lose him. I don't know if the feelings are coming more and more because I'm so far away from my boyfriend. I just keep thinking about the fact that I might never even know what it's like to be with a girl. I love my boyfriend though, and I'm not okay with the idea of losing him. So, I keep thinking I need to just push these feelings and ideas out of my head. They can't possibly be doing me any good, they are just keeping me from being happy with the guy I already love. It seems like every choice I make is going to end up wrong somehow. I just need to know how to get past this so I can just be happy and okay with my life. I feel so unfaithful just thinking about other people..:help:
