I mentioned in a previous post that I considered myself bisexual/bisexual homoromantic for a while until I started leaning more and more towards a lesbian relationship and further away from a straight relationship. I have never dated in my life, I've been asked out by guys but I rejected them all because my 11/12 year old self just wasn't interested in dating. I remember reading 'Girl Stuff' by Kaz Cooke which is all about puberty, sex and all that jazz and it spoke about lesbian relationships which got me thinking. Luckily my mum never read through the book (she's homophobic) and just thought it'd help me through puberty whilst I was still young. This is when I started to think about my sexuality. I did notice girls a little bit and I had an idea what a lesbian was and I remember thinking to myself that if a relationship didn't go well with a guy, I'd be more than happy to be in a relationship with a girl. I didn't think about this for years until a few months back when I started noticing girls more. I don't know what triggered it, but here I am and I find the idea of being in a relationship with a woman is x100 appealing to me. I used to like guys, its all I thought about whenever someone asked things like "what's your ideal partner?" etc... It's just that whenever one showed interest in me, I would become a little intimidated and stopped liking them, so I would stop looking their way whenever I thought they weren't looking and then they'd move on and get with another girl. The longest time I had a 'crush' on a guy was for about 3 years, I started seeing him less because he was always busy and the day I saw him again I found out he had a girlfriend and it didn't bother me (which is a good thing) and all of these feelings I thought I had for him just weren't there, I still thought he was alright looking I just didn't feel anything. Then one of my girl friends started to talk about when he was going to get married to her after school and then she turned to me and jokingly said "me and her are getting married, aren't we?" And just the thought of marrying a girl (not her necessarily, because I know she's straight so she's off limits) made me feel really happy inside. It's been a long time trying to figure out who I am, I just want some advice from someone else's point of view.
