How can you figure out your sexuality without dating anyone?

You just start to think about people.

Back when I was 15, I thought I was asexual because I was only attracted to women romantically. I REALLY didn't want to be a lesbian, so I just mistook the romantic attraction for platonic attraction. Around age 16, my sex hormones suddenly went crazy, crazy, CRAZY... and that was it for me. After that, I just knew I was 100% lesbian. I was through with pretending.

That being said, no one can tell you what your sexuality is. That's for you to find out, and your body will let you know when it's ready.

Do you ever think of women and/or men sexually? If you think of both, which do you think about more often? Keep asking yourself these questions and you'll find the answer soon enough.

 

I often wonder the same thing. I'm 20 and have NEVER dated anyone. The only thing is that I'm sexually turned on by gay porn, and have fantasized about men... I still don't know if that alone though can determine my sexuality since I'm emotionally attracted to women.

Not having any experience does not allow me to reflect upon my personal situations. I feel your confusion! I'm in the same boat as you right now. It SUCKS!

 

I can relate to this thread because I'm going through a bit of the same issue. I feel like I like women, I am attracted to women, I always fantasize about them romantically and sexually, etc. But my real-world experience with them is limited. I was with a woman before, but all that happened was a one-night stand sadly. She told me she liked me, that she considered me her girlfriend... and I never saw her again. She never called me back or anything, I was heartbroken. But it was enough to let me know I liked girls... I just have yet to have a full-on relationship with one.

 

I think we all figure it out at different times. When I was your age, I still thought I was bisexual, and had to later figure out I wasn't. And I've never dated a man either.

I didn't necessarily mean anything bad from my comment (sorry if you took it that way). I just think that a relationship is a huge commitment, and people can get hurt if your main reason for dating is only to find out who you are.

 

Don't know if I'll help but I've dated girls and was attracted to them. It's just I'm attracted more to guys and imagined myself in a relationship with man more than a girl. Just love who you love.

 

If you want to date, I say that's fine. Just be honest about that with people early on. Let them know that you're somewhat unsure of yourself, and because of that, you're not looking for a serious relationship, but you are open to seeing where things lead.
Just make sure to explain yourself, so you don't lead people on, but also realize that could change their views of the situation, just so you don't get used. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with/don't want to do!

 

That seems like it would work.

 

<----- has never dated anyone to determine orientation

Go ahead with dating. It works better for some people to figure out their orientation. Letting them know you are queer is a good idea.