So here is the story I guess. I just don't know what I even am anymore. Quick low down. I am not some one you would assume is gay, not that you should assume any one is anything, but by any stereotype I wouldn't look "lesbian" whatever that means. I don't want to sound like an ass, but generally boys have liked me and I dated this guy for awhile and a lot of girls thought he was cute so I'm not struggling in the male department. Thing is I still talk to him and were still kind of a thing, but I seriously question if Im gay..... I mean he is cute and I do get jealous if over girls talk to him, but kissing him is not all that great for me....and I have kissed a girl one girl in particular who I really love, but that's another story and even with her I enjoyed it more than with him, but the spark wasn't there. I have always kind of admired women more than men and grew up a tomboy. I just find women beautiful and fasicinating and as i trace my life back to childhood I can see the small crushes I had on peers and teachers and all that sort, but I never thought i didn't like boys. I mean I did like boys back then.....but now I am entranced by the thought of women. The thing is I'm just scared or maybe I'm not gay? because I cant come to terms with not being with a man although everything I have felt says otherwise. I'm just very confused and I don't want to sound like an ass again, but I feel like I would only be attracted to the more feminine lesbians exclusively, but alot of the time they pair off with more masculine lesbians or are actually straight so why even bother.... I know this is just a rambling post, but please give me some advice I'm drowning here...
