Hey all, I'm a 22 year old guy, and I'm in a predicament of sorts. I've always identified as a heterosexual male. However, I think I might be asexual (I just found out this was a thing), but I'm not really sure how to tell; I know that probably doesn't make sense. I assume that my problem stems from the fact that I don't entirely know what "sexual" attraction is or what asexuality is for that matter. I know what physical and romantic attraction are, and I've experienced them. It's the whole sexual attraction I just don't understand. The thought that maybe I'm actually gay but never really knew it has also crossed my mind, but I'm 95% sure that isn't the case. I've always been interested in and attracted to girls and have never felt the same feeling for another guy. But, I guess let me know if you think that is a possibility. I would greatly appreciate anyone's thoughts on the matter, and let me know if there is anything you'd like me to share from my past. Best regards, - C. EDITED Bad grammar
Hey Corvid, welcome to EC, cool name btw. Sexuality can be confusing, that's for sure. Although, I think sometimes we confuse ourselves more than is necessary, because of negative influences from society. You said you've been physically attracted to girls, but unsure of what sexual attraction is. Can you describe your physical attractions, and how they might vary from sexual attractions? Do you have any history of intimacy or sexual experiences with girls(or with guys for that matter)? If you have, how do you feel about those experiences? As for the slight chance you could be gay, how do you feel about that, apprehensive, accepting, depressed, upset, etc.?
I'm not really sure what you mean by describe my physical attractions, but I'll give it a shot. I guess my eyes are always sort of drawn towards the pretty girls whether that is out in public or on the TV or what have you. Now, I also know when another guy is a attractive, but that is along similar lines as saying "Wow, that's a nice painting." However, I've never thought "Man, I'd like to date that guy." I've always been romantically attracted to women as long as I can remember; I've always seen myself doing relationship stuff with them (marrying, dating, holding hands, kissing, watching bad Syfy movies, etc.). I guess I've never really looked at a girl (or anyone for that matter) and thought I'd like to have sex with them. I feel I didn't answer your question.... I've had sexual experiences before (with women), and I've enjoyed them. I don't think I enjoyed them in the traditional sense, though. Forgive the upcoming analogy here, but I have found this to be the best way to describe how I feel about sex and other stuff along those lines. To me, sex is like doing drugs (bear with me). Whether I do it alone or with someone else is irrelevant. I'm still going to feel good at the end of the of the whole ordeal. I don't go out of my way to pursue drugs, but on the off chance they're presented to me, and I'm "in the right mood", I might do them. Usually, I won't. Well, if it turns out I am gay, I'd just kind of accept it and be fine with it; life goes on. My family and friends are pretty chill, so it's not like I'd be worried about losing them or anything. ---------- Post added 28th Apr 2014 at 09:07 PM ---------- Sorry, I'll try not to make this a wall of text, but I felt I should clarify as to why I'm unsure if I am asexual or gay or just a straight oddball. In my mind, the possibility I might be gay stems from the false idea that not being interested in sex with women(or anyone) = I'm gay. I'm sure that isn't right, but correct me if I'm wrong.
I can relate to not knowing what sexual attraction is. I think I sometimes feel sexual attraction, but it's so rare for me. I don't think you're gay because you haven't mentioned being attracted to any guys.
After wiki'ng sexual attraction and lurking around various sites, I'm almost 90% positive I've never felt sexual attraction outside of early and mid puberty. I've had sexual urges and experience arousal, so I guess I'm not to sure what that indicates.
