Second time posting and I'm gonna just try and get the facts out there, my whole life I've been physically and sexually attracted to women, i still am but know I'm questioning everything, I'm at a weird time in my life cause everyone is at college or working, and I dropped out and don't have a job, anyway I'm obsessing over the idea of Im gay or not, I feel close to an answer because for the first few months of this confusion. I was just thinking I was gay and nothing else, then I started thinking about what gay is, this is where I get confused, because I know I've never been sexually attracted to a man before, but i do know during high school and such it was much easier for me to connect with guys, so also during high school i didn't have a gf and pretty much idolized them and fantasizes about them, all was fine until I got the idea that I could be gay, the thought feels intrusive and makes me paranoid, but then I also become obsessed with the idea of being in denial, I'm on anti depressants and can't seem to do anything anymore, I keep thinking I'm in the closet because i really don't know what that means, I saw that cause I feel isolated and like I can't contribute to anything, and I know I have to figure this out for myself, and I will, all I want some information on is attraction because like I said I get along better with guys mentally and emotionally I guess idk I'm having trouble sorting out my attractions. When it comes to women I feel the physical attraction, and also emotional because I get nervous, but also excited, I can't even masturbate anymore cause I get aroused by seeing girls and watching porn but then I start thinking of guys and I can't do it anymore, but idk if its cause I'm not giving it a chance or something, so where part of me thinks this is going is I'm losing my attraction to women, and growing into attraction to men, as I type this feels wrong and off, but everywhere I go and everything I see I feel is trying to tell me I'm gay, everything my parents do and friends do I feel like is trying to tell me I'm gay, that makes me think denial again, and I know I gotta do this myself, I'm just asking if anyone has seen anything like this or knows how to go about this problem, thank you
