Hi, I have never done anything like this before so please bare with me. I am 19 Nearly 20 years old and have never been in a relationship and have always thought that I am straight, however over the last few months I have been thinking more about what I am. I bought that I might be asexual due the fact that the idea of a sex have always scared me due to something that happened when I was much younger. Last night I talked to my mums friend who is gay, it was scarey saying my thoughts out load, but what she said to me after made sense. Although I have never consciously been attracted to women I have always felt much more comfortable around them. When thinking over what she said I realised that there had been women that I had passed on the street or in uni that I have thought are attractive in more than the way a straight person I assume would. I have also talked to my mum about what I am feeling and she has been very supportive of my thoughts. However I am confused and scared. I have never really fit in anywhere and maybe this is why. All my friends are straight and I am terrified that at be end of this journey (for what if a better word) and possibly realise that I am gay that I will loose them. I don't know is anyone can help me but I would really appreciate it if you could tell me I am not being stupid. Thank you even if no one sees this just writing it has helped.
You could be gay but being scared doesn't mean you don't like men. I don't know history so I can't comment
You' re not being stupid. :eusa_naug Well, the information you give is very little... Did you like any girls/boys when you where younger? Did you have any crushes?
I never really noticed people when I was younger I was always reading it has only since my last year or two of secondary school that I really started noticing things like that. If I have had crushes I don't think I have ever really realised it at the time. Looking back now there have been a few girls that I might have liked in that way but no boys they always scared me.
I'm not sure how effective it would be but you could always try getting out there and experimenting. That could provide some answers.
Hi, you are not being stupid, you are only trying to figure yourself out. I actually don't really know what to give as advice to you because I feel we are kind of in the same boat and I relate a lot to what you wrote down, BUT, I wouldn't start with labels now because your feelings might as well change again, and thinking about it so much could bring you only more unnecessary confusion? Just see where things go really, and in the end it isn't important to whom you feel attracted anyhow. Also it is great that your mother is so accepting but if your friends were your true friends, I can't see how you could possibly lose them because of a thing such as this? I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but if you want to talk, I am here for you.
That does help. It is nice to know that I am not alone in his. I think that that is one of the scarerest things
Hey there! If your mum supports you, just take your time to digest these things, she'll back you up and will be always by your side. It's never too soon or late to sort these things out, so don't worry about your age. Also, you can be pretty sure you're not the only one who have these feelings of inadequacy. I'm aware of my homossexuality since I was six, but even knowing this for a long time hasn't helped me to find my place in the world. I'm surrounded by people, most of them are straight, some gay, but this is a condition I imposed myself: I refused to pick my friends based on their sexuality. The only thing that matters is to be fine with yourself and be comfortable with those around you. You're not being stupid at all.
