I've gotten myself into a sticky situation. Well, I met this guy on Facebook 2 months ago. He kept trying to grab my attention there. He would send me messages, comment on my posts, etc. I knew that he was into me, but at the time, I didn't really think too much of it. But, after a while, I started to take a liking to him. I started to find him attractive, and I couldn't get him out of my head. So, one night, while I was drinking, I decided to send him a message and see if he wanted to speak on the phone. Well, we did, and we talked just about all night long, and then we somehow ended up in a relationship. That lasted for a few days, before I broke it off and told him that I was confused about my sexuality. But, I couldn't stand being apart from him, so we got back into a relationship. And, one thing led to another, and he's coming from Texas to see me in Ky. I really do love him, I find him very attractive, but my main concern is..will I be able to get off while I'm having sex with him? I know. I know. This is something I should have thought about beforehand. I've explained this to him, and he's insisting that it'll be fine. And, another thing, I feel free when I'm drinking, I start to find guys attractive and (before I met him) I would get drunk and hit on guys. But, when I'm sober...I don't feel much. I feel like there's something inside of me that's keeping me away from who I am truly meant to be. I've always been into girls, that's never been an issue for me, and I've always had a thing for transsexuals and crossdressers. But, men..I'm iffy on it, but I feel so much for this guy. I don't want to lose him. Some additional information, I'm 27 years old, my longest relationship was 9 years, and that was with a female. I've had sex with trans women, and I've made out with a guy before..which I totally enjoyed. I just..I'm confused as to why it takes me being intoxicated to.."come out of the closet".
Hi there, and welcome to EC. Why are you having trouble coming to terms with being into guys? Well, you're from Kentucky... so I'm guessing that you've grown up getting a lot of negative messages from family, church, and society in general about gays. So despite being attracted to them and enjoying making out with them, you still have some deeply rooted reservations about it. Fears, really. If you have feelings for this guy, then go with it. And try not to experience the whole time with him drunk. Go into it sober, and do your best to relax anyway. Take things slow. Don't worry about 'getting off' or having sex at all. See where things go. Orgasm represents the last 30 seconds or so of what might have been an amazing hour or two of kissing, foreplay, etc... Getting all worked up about orgasm can ruin the experience - when it isn't all that important. Again - welcome to EC! And congratulations for starting to work through this. It takes a lot of courage to even contemplate that you're gay.
Hi, thanks for the response ^_^ I think it's because..I just don't find most guys attractive, I'm more into girls and transgender women. And, I guess that makes me feel wrong, flawed. It makes me feel like I'm lying to myself about how I feel about this guy that I'm with. And, me finding a guy that I find attractive, it's very rare. Emo guys..feminine guys, that's about it. I think that the best course of action would be to just let him come up here, get a feel for him, and if we have sex, we have sex. If not, then we can build an emotional relationship, rather than a physical one. I just worry that he may be expecting quite a bit more than that. He's 20 and I'm 27..When I was his age, my hormones were going crazy.
