Hey all! I'm new to this forum, although I've read a few topics here. From what I've seen: you all seem to be very nice, understanding and helpful, so that's why signed up! I'm questioning my sexuality and I hope you have some information which will make me think. So I guess I need to explain something about myself eh. I am 20 years old and I live in Europe. When I was 12 (or 13, don't remember my age), I had a serious relationship with a girl (for that age - lol). Our relationship ended, because she moved to another city, which literally tore me apart. So from the age of 13 (or 14), I didn't want to have a relationship (ever) again. I didn't want to lose anyone, so the best thing to do is not to start anything. That's what I thought. Around the age of 15, I began exploring my sexuality. To my own surprise, I found videos about men much more interesting than videos about women. I felt guilty, but I couldn't withstand it really. I thought I was gay, because I was sexually attracted to men. Around the age of 17 / 18, most got a relationship, except for me. I didn't mind a relationship, but I really didn't try anything because I was unsure about my sexuality. The thing is, when it comes to people, I can get along with anyone quite easily. It simply never gets to a relationship. I tried flirting with several girls, but it lead to nothing. No that I'm 20, I'm even more confused. I still haven't had a serious relationship since the age of 12 / 13, but I'm not really searching for one. I'm simply waiting for something to happen, but how long do I have to wait? I can't remember whether I was sexually attracted to someone, I simply don't know what it's like. I hear friends talking about girls, but from my own experience, I've not had a sexual attraction to anyone I've known. * So basically, I think I might be asexual, although I do watch gay stuff. I can imagine myself in a relationship with a girl OR a boy, although when I am around people, I only flirt with girls.. And "I've always known I was different" doesn't apply to me at all, because I could get along with anyone, I was like most of the kids really. Can you give me some advice, some thoughts? Been in a similar situation? If you want to know something, just ask it!
You are not asexual. Why do people put this label on themselves so quickly? Instead of waiting for it to "happen", get off the porn and get out and be aggressive. It will not fall into your lap.
Thanks for your comment! The reason why I don't "go out and be aggressive", is because I never see someone to whom I am sexually attracted.. And for the label, I thought about it a long time, I don't I am asexual, but I might be asexual. I hear my friends talking about attractive girls, but I'm not attracted to any girl or boy in university.
I am Not an expert, but why would you masturbate (how often do you do it actually) if you were asexual? Don't masturbate and don't Look at porn for a while like 2 weeks and see if anything changed. If you can't resist the urge, you're not asexual anyway.
In fact, I've done that twice. Once for three months and the other time for a week or two. I actually did it back then, to see whether I would start to be attracted to someone. Nothing happened at all, could get along with anyone. Why do I watch porn? Good question, don't know really, I think it's quite interesting. It takes me a while to get aroused. I won't get aroused by seeing two persons kissing, so I usually skip that. And I'm picky too, I want something with a "story", and the acting has to be good. I think I masturbate once / twice every two weeks. Is that much? At some point, I cannot resist the urge to masturbate, although I can resist the urge to watch porn very easily. Is the need to masturbate something which asexual people don't do? If that's true, then I'm not asexual indeed.
Hi I labeled myself as asexual two-three years ago before I admitted I'm into women. Now, I'm certain I love women, even if I never see someone to whom I am sexually attracted as you. Because I need a peculiar type of woman, I don't care only the beauty but also her charisma, what she transmits to me. Maybe it's the same also for you Maybe you need a man who can transmits enough peculiar emotions to say "Yes, I'm gay!" or similar stuff.
Thanks for your comment! You have no idea (or perhaps you do ) how it feels like to read this! I think you're reason, I don't care only the beauty but also her charisma, what she transmits to me could've been something I would've said! It explains why I think I'm asexual, because there I need more than beauty alone (to put it like that). How did it work out for you? Did something come across which made you decide that you're into women? Thanks again for your comment.
You're welcome! Uhm, I guess it was a whole of things. You know, for me it was harder because there were also my doubts about my gender identity. However: 1) I have never liked guys, neither about sexual feeling nor romantic feelings. I see them like friends and brothers, nothing else. 2) Being aroused my naked girls/porn ect. (even if I don't like porn because it's so fake, I prefer hot pictures, for example, or gifs in which it seems that two women have really sex). 3) I feel straight, despite I love women ---> Here it is my gender identity: man. If you're not interested in women and you don't feel nothing (and by nothing I don't mean only sexual attraction but also empathy, feelings in a more spiritual manner and similar stuff), maybe you're gay.
Thanks for your comment! I see, I can imagine that it is much harder indeed when gender identity starts playing a role. I'll try to compare it to myself, let's see: 1. The only "romantic" feeling I had was when I was 12 / 13, for a girl, but it ended disastrous. Being 12 / 13, it doesn't count as romantic I guess. So far I haven't had a romantic feeling for anyone then. Sexual feelings, haven't had them either for anyone (so far) as far as I know.. 2. I can say I get aroused by gay porn, although it has to be good porn (it won't do it when the acting is bad). Also, it takes some time (by that I mean I'm not finished in 10 minutes - lol), but I'm usually also busy trying to follow a story, if present. Perhaps I should try straight porn again, has been a long time since I tried it. Used to I usually do I think. 3. Plays no role for me So back to the question, I'm still not sure about my sexuality, perhaps I'm a not-so-sexual-bisexual, or not-so-sexual-gay (I didn't include not-so-sexual-straight, because I don't watch straight porn, but I'm going to try it someday again to find out how I feel about it)
Let me I ask you some questions: Can you imagine yourself having a good sex with a woman? And with a man? Can you imagine youself making love with a woman? And with a man? Maybe you could be a gay demisexual, it means you're into guys but you have sexual feelings and sexual interest only when you're in love with a guy.
Can you imagine yourself having a good sex with a woman? And with a man? - I can imagine both, although when pretending gay sex, I can not immediately pretend myself being a bottom (I just keep thinking it would hurt). Oral is no problem for both straight and gay. However, I can't imagine myself having sex with a complete stranger. It should be someone I love very much. Can you imagine youself making love with a woman? And with a man? - Hey, seems like I answered this one already I can imagine both actually, but the emotional connection should be strong enough. Demisexual? I'd never heard of that until now. So it might be possible that I am demisexual? Thanks, so far, you've been really helpful!
Oh who can resist the urge to masturbate I mean come on who doesn't love a good orgasm? Anyway don't label yourself it doesn't matter what other people think everyone at EC loves u (*hug*) but if u must label yourself I put u under bisexual with a preference for Males.
That's interesting. If you can imagine making love with a person you love so much (because you don't like sex with a stranger or sex without feelings), and this person could be both a man or a woman...congratulations. You're demisexual-bisexual. Bisexual, because you can be in a relationship both with a man and a woman and Demisexual because you need to love that person to have sex with him/her, just because you don't like/aren't interested by sex without feelings.
The 3 months and 2 weeks was actually only about porn. Now I see that I misread Youp's reaction. I didn't mean to say I didn't masturbate for 3 months / 2 weeks! Sorry!! You're right about that Sup2345 :icon_bigg , it's not all black and white. I definitely fall in the grey area. I guess that comes quite close to my sexuality indeed, based on what I usually watch I think that I'm "more on the gay side of bisexuality". Thanks everyone for helping me! I still hope I will meet someone who I can love, for whom I can have romantic and thus sexual feelings! That would probably clarify my sexuality more. **edit** Thanks FireSmoke for your answer! So I'm a demisexual-bisexual slightly more to the gay side. That sure is a lot. Labels don't always work eh? They can get very complicated! :icon_bigg
Haha! I even updated my status, more accurate now. When someone asks for it, I now know what to say (Before I said: I don't know) :icon_bigg
