Hello again, So I posted a while ago about my identity issues...whether I'm gay or not....and I still need some help. I've been trying on how "being gay" would be and I just don't know. I can masturbate to thoughts of having sex with a man but after I don't feel as satisfied or relaxed just more weirded out and confused. I take a deep breath and accept who I am...but it feels like something forced....and yet not. I try to watch gay porn and I just can't. I need serious help. All I want to do is finally be happy. I've tried with women (and yes I have had tons of sex with women and loved it but after being in a few horrible relationships I've just associated being with a girl with sadness and rejection...which makes me more confused as all i ever wanted was to be loved by a girl as much as I loved her an have a family etc....) but I've been so emotionally abused. I'm tired of all the "testing" if I'm gay or not...I just want to be. Please help me!
I am going to be blunt, if u find yourself attracted to men, then u r gay, if ur attracted to women ur straight, if both then ur bi. like I tell my friends, I am gay because I cant control the way my body reacts when I see a guy that attracts me, I begin to sweat, my palms become sticky, my heart beats a little faster, I get hard, especially when he just brushes himself against me like, a pat on the back or any type of touch, the hairs all over my body stand on edge. a lot of these things happen due to chemical reactions in our body that respond to this attraction, and we cant control it, it just is. and it is ok to be confused, I mean I don't know how old u are, but I am pretty sure that one day u r going to find someone who will be the one for you, it doesn't matter if that person has a penis or not, he or she will be that elusive creature that I call THE ONE.
I'm 29 and I need to ask one more question: can a man be simply curious of what it's like? Because I feel that a lot of my feelings have stemmed from curiosity. I just don't feel what you relate: I haven't been one to be aroused (until recently when I would see a good looking guy I'll feel as if I have a girl in my head who points out who she would fuck...like I hear my ex's voice...disturbing I know. And that's another thing: I've pined for women my whole life....I love them. But because of the recent horrible experiences it's as if mind has been searching out other options. I've been experimenting with the idea of being gay and it's like a jacket that's a little too small...it just doesn't fit right in my heAd ---------- Post added 2nd May 2014 at 08:06 AM ---------- And I also get the heart beating faster when an attractive guy approaches....but I've also been the fat kid who was picked on so I can't tell if it's my own defensive nature against those I see representing the "bully's" or if getting the hots for a guy....I hate this...I just want to move on with my life!
don't sweat, look I am not an expert on sexual orientations, and one thing I have learned is that sexuality sometimes cant be judged, nor categorized. maybe it is just curiosity, but idt it can be from your disastrous relationships w/ women, I mean that would mean a lot of other ppl would b gay. maybe u r just bicurious? what u r describing seems like curiosity, I mean I am gay because I know that i am one day going to fall in love with a man, because i am just attracted to them, i have zero attraction towards women. the only other piece of advice i could give you is to explore this new side of things, and if it of your liking, then go ahead, if not then just go bak to how things were.
Most guys are thrusted into their sexual relationships by their hormones, no pun intended. You seem to be dragged into yours. The secret to getting unstuck is to take a different route. Instead of exploring your sexuality with men try exploring your relations with them. Find gay men to be friends with and by that I mean make friendship, not sex, the goal. Gay men are very friendly toward men in general so it should not be hard to have a pack of gay friends in no time. If they want to have sex with you, and knowing them they probably will, just say you are holding out for the right guy to come along, which is exactly what you are going to be doing. If after dozens of gay guys have come and gone and you still never feel a connection then you can conclude you are not gay after all. I suspect by that time though you will have it figured out.
Thank you, all of you. All I'm trying to do now is just feel it out and see what happens. I honestly only want to be a mature and self knowledgable human being and I'm tired of feeling like I'm repressing something even when I'm completely open with myself. I've never felt like I was going to be with a man....but if I want to be with ANYONE I need to make sure I'm being completely honest with everything so no one gets hurt. I'm just trying to grow as a person. I've quit doing most things that dillude me and this has been one of them.
