Hey everyone, I am guy in my 20s who needs help figuring out my sexual orientation. I have like girls all through out my life and never had a sexual thoughts about guys ever. I have had many wet dreams about having sex with women too. I have tried watching gay porn but it doesn't do anything for me. I will get me slightly aroused because of that fact that its a sexual action. Lately I have been watching too much porn and masturbate a lot and that seems to have diminished my my sex drive a lot...i think. However lately, since i have started to question my sexuality, i feel like an arousing sensation in my genitals when i see some guys. Could it be that since I watch too much porn that I started getting aroused my every small little details regardless the gender? Like i said, i have never imagine to like a guy sexually or romantically. Also, I feel that the main reason of my confusion is because I am not aroused very easily with women. I like more of a thick girls for some reason and I like ass more than boobs which gets me even more confused. I have been stuck at this stage and dont know what I want or what to do. It really sucks. Anyone out there who shares the same story? :eusa_doh:
The first part certainly points away from being gay/bi. However, you mention the arousing sensation. For one, there's some debate as to how fluid sexuality is. I believe that, at least for some people, it is fluid. There's also the possibility homosexuality was just repressed, but that seems unlikely considering you're in you're 20s, you seem to like women, and you've never had sexual thoughts about guys. A fes questions that I think will help: - Can you see yourself in a relationship with a guy? With women? - What about enjoying sex with a guy? With women? - Can you elaborate on "I am not aroused very easily with women?"
Thanks for the reply. Yes, i can fully see my self being in a relationship with women but never with men I have had many close guy friends but never thought of them sexually or anything, just really good friends with good bonds and stuff. I have had sex with few women and I really enjoyed it. I don't think I can be satisfied like that with a man. but the problem is that when i went to stip clubs and stuff, although I enjoyed what i saw couldnt get hard enough like many men say they do. Also there has been few past relationships that I couldn't get sexually excited enough.
Sounds like you should talk to a sex counselor about your lack of motivation. Not that motivation is a problem in itself, but you have to admit, this is keeping you from forming good relationships and you don't want to wait until you are in your 30's to start dealing with it. It can really help to bounce these things off of someone else and come up with ideas on how to get unstuck. You probably just need to get into the right headspace.
I don't really see a lack of motivation mentioned in the posts. Where are you reading that? It seems more like the OP is stuck trying to figure out his orientation, not stuck sexually.
Loss of sex drive could be a libido issue but being he is in his 20's I was assuming that it's likely just boredom. Like going to the same restaurant over and over when there isn't anything on the menu you like. You try out each dish and it feels like you might like some of them but you don't really and you start to wonder what's wrong with you when what you really need to do is try different restaurants that serve different types of food. A sex therapist is an expert at figuring this stuff out.
Op, it sounds like you believe overstimulation from porn has caused a lack of sexual attraction in woman. There is a website called "yourbrainonporn.com" which states loss of libido and sexual attraction becomes abnormal from your original state. There is obviously something going on with libido, sense of self worth, overstimulation with porn and masturbating via imagination, but, there is not concrete evidence as of right now if something like porn can change your orientation. Since you feel like Porn and masturbating is a problem and a possible hinderance on forming your true sexual orientation, then i think you should give it up and retain your libido and sex drive. so this is something that Only You can test out to see if it had applied to you. so i suggest quitting all of this, for a minimum of 3 months, up to 6months or more.
Thanks for the reply guys. I know the porn is not helping my case at all but what about the fact that I get these sort of arousing feeling from guys as well. I dont know if its because I am gay or something. How would you know if i am attracted to guys?
To be honest I don't really know what to make of your case so far. Maybe you are putting to much thought into this. Don't worry yourself to death about it. Try to see it from a fun perspective: "Hey, finding out about this will be interesting... and fun!" It's like a mystery waiting to be resolved. You're the detective, and the case is you. Yes, this may sound a bit ridiculous, but it might help you not be so serious about it. That you get aroused by guys could mean a many things: You're bi. You're a bit bi. You're only sexually attracted to guys, no romantically. You're gay - and just don't know it yet. Although that's unusual, really. Maybe you're just really, really horny and would get aroused by anything you feast your eyes upon. Sometimes watching to much porn and not getting not enough action can do that to people. :icon_wink You could try a little experiment: Hold off on porn (or any action with your hand) for a week or two. Then check out both lads and lasses out there and keep track of who you fancy the most. If it's still guys that get you aroused the most, then you need to investigate further.
