Does this make me less of who I am?

Im no expert on OCD but i have anxiety about my sexuality i went through this not the ocd but the anxiety and going to therapy does not make you less of who you are I'm going to talk to someone about my sexuality soon it might help you.

 

Well how I'm going to tell someone and how they are going to react I picture all sort of stuff that might happen and my heart well can feel it beating so fast sweaty palms have little panic attacks and telling people helped me so much sorry hope this helps x

 

Thank you i totally felt that way too but in the end i came to terms with it your welcome

 

I know what you mean about worrying you'll come out, and then feelings changing. I'm totally worried that I'm actually inventing feelings...I just don't know which ones! I don't have OCD but I totally get that anxiety, and I think it's quite normal.

And therapy definitely doesn't make you less of anything. It should even help you know yourself better, imo

 

Hey, have you been diagnosed OCD?

Do not self diagnose, honestly, judging by your post you exhibit behaviors that resemble OCD symptoms, but alot of people do. if Anything you are just going through a traumatic time period, and you are experiencing Post Tramautic Stress Disorder if anything.

Regardlesa, ocd, (hocd is bulshit in short) but OCD cannot flunctuate your sexuality and cause sexual attraction to switch from gay to straight and vice versa

 

To anyone who says hocd doesn't exist is well uninformed. The only thing that doesn't exist about hocd is the name. But it's called hocd just so people.understand the type without the need to explain things. Ocd can attack anything you fear. Religious people could say it's a demon in your ear. And even though it's unlikely to only have one type of symptoms it's not always the case. I know someone who was scared her hair straighteners were going to burn her house down. Checked countless times a day. This lasted a year then dissappeared. I'm currently seeing about 6 different mental health specialists and they all say ocd attacking sexuality is a very common theme
But it's only now that homosexuality is becoming more accepted people are opening up about it. It's funny how this is the only website on the Internet who deny that hocd exists. I will take my fully qualified cognitive behaviour therapists opinion over any ones on here. having suffered with it 3 separate times I know how bad it sucks. It's hell and there really is no.advice that can be given because the sufferer will never believe. And sexuality can change through out a life time. I don't know if ocd is changing mine but it feels like it has. My only advice I can give is please don't listen to anyone on this site when it comes to ocd. Only yourself and a trained specialist will ever understand what's going on. Everyone I see tells me to stay off forums because what's going on for one person isn't going on for another. I wish I could take their advice as I have in turn brain washed myself. The ocd forums are just as poison as this one. I read on one that if you don't want something it's not true but we all know that's not true. I can't send private messages as I'm not a full member but if there's anyway you can.think of to.contact me privately I am always here to help.

 

HOCD is bulshit if you are sexually attracted to the same sex. it does Not allow sexuality changes, only repression, and its a tactic used by the internet forums and DOES ALOT more harm then good by acting out as a scapegoat for those in denial. its not in the DSM for a reason, id love to speak to your therapist and know of other symptoms of OCD you have.

also to OP

this is PTSD example, (and this is why websites arent useful to diagnose ones self) ptsd is more common than you know and it can range, for example one woman i know almost drowned, her entire life choices developed around these experiences, marrying a life guard, not letting her kids in water, abnormal stress, she became very scared of death and would think even when she was very sick that death could happen to her she would have a panic attack. common colds to her meant it was possibly something worse like pnemonia and she could die. im not saying you do, but you would be suprised at how small things can effect someone. How is the Prozac?

 

Says the mental health expert ^^

Ok if there is sexual attraction involved then yes it is being used as denial but that's not always the case. And in them cases it's really easy to tell the two people apart from what they write in a forum.How do you explain gay people obsessing they have turned Straight?

The 1st time I spiked was 18 always had been sexually attracted to females then one day out of the blue I woke up with the words "YOURE GAY" repeating over and over again constant for 6 months. No attractions or thoughts about men just them words. Every second of every day. Just because you haven't experienced something doesn't mean it's not real. The same can happen for paedophilia.

 

the majority of individuals running to the HOCD excuse ARE gay. maybe you do not understand. ive done years of research on it, and its not good to promote it especially on a coming out website. also, mental health expert? ive spoken to 4 therapists about it.

Hocd is a load of bulshit. if you have OCD then you have other symptoms, feel free to call it OCD and describe your symptoms, do not run around screaming you might have HOCD

 

If you read what I previously wrote I did say the only thing that doesn't exist is the name. People that actually know anything about it know that the h is put to.simplify the understanding of others to their symptoms. The ocd community have many names like pocd, rocd etc it's not the correct medical term but an Internet term. And yes I'm sure most people do use it asdenial but that still doesn't give anyone the right to deny the existence of the disorder. The problem is it damages both, the people in denial use it.to cling on to something but the people who generally do suffer with it denying the existence of it may end in a few suicides. It's quite common. I myself maybe gay but if that's the case at some point in my life turned gay and people on this site deny that can happen too.

---------- Post added 5th May 2014 at 05:50 PM ----------

I'm currently under going intense cbt and have spoke to atleast 15 different specialists who all agree it is real and is more common than you would think. And these specialists aren't anti gay conversion therapists they are all British. Government run nhs mental health experts

 

I know that I'm probably gay, but my HOCD has told me that I'm bi, attracted to my cat, attracted to kids and attracted to my family.

When I first felt like I might be bi I accepted it because I didn't want to be gay. When I started feeling the other "attractions" I started worrying that I was turning into a pervert.

When I found out about HOCD it felt like I was reading my life story. Those were never actual attractions, my HOCD just told me that they were.

I've never been diagnosed with OCD, but a teacher mentioned that I had OCD symptoms in my grade two report card. I've had many other OCD obsessions that have nothing to do with my sexuality.

 

You summed it up perfectly. When you read someone's story it is exactly like my own. Down to a tee, even after I've come out to my mum every time I see her she still says to me I think you are still dealing with ocd, as she has all the print outs and info plus who knows me better than my mum. Even though I think she would be secretly happy with having a gay son she knows the score. Where as if I read realisation stories or stories of teenage years of a fully accepting gay person I can't relate to it atall.

And the attractions.to family is awful, I been feeling attracted to my brother and childhood friends for months now. I'm 25 Ffs. This is real.

Plus this disagreement is.pointless her ocd isn't the same as mine, hers is attacking the fact she wants to be gay but scared she's not. See it works both ways

 

First off your teacher isnt a trained psychologist.

you probably are Not Hocd, lets be clear, once you fully accept being gay all these anxiety induced sexual attractions will go away. that is not HOCD. if you have REAL SEXUAL attraction to incest, children, or pets then that is technically Natural but not acceptable to society. If you have real sexual attraction No Amount of therapy will reverse it.

But i believe your body is heavily searching for sexual stimuli and mis firing because you are denying your true nature of being gay. ive been in a similiar position. i quit trying to be straight and then i realized my body stopped mis-firing and i was happy and non ocd like again.
i used to think i had HOCD. but after all is said and done i know what was going on

 

Damn you just gave me goosebumps. What an amazing come back so perfectly written. I think I love you
The problem this guy is facing is he can't imagine someone's thoughts being different to his own
No one can compare their own experience with another especially when there is mental illness involved. People can be.so contradictory at times. Hocd doesn't exist, bisexual is just a stepping stone, sexuality can't change just to name a few. Even the highest experts don't understand the brain so I.don't understand how people on forums think they do. I'm beginning to realise this.

---------- Post added 5th May 2014 at 07:20 PM ----------

We are all wired different and wires get crossed. In my own opinion and experience mental illness is so much more severe than people realise. So many times I have wished to replace my illness for cancer. The fact is our fears maybe legit but that still doesn't mean we don't have an illness, but as for false attractions I think I woukd have noticed an attraction for my brother way before the age of 25 considering I've spent almost every day with him since birth

 

It annoys me so much when people say it doesn't exist. My thoughts are 24 hours a day. I search for answers and never come up with any. It effects every movement I make. I can't talk in certain ways, I can't walk in certain ways, I can't sit in certain ways. And it's rediculous, it's not even incase I appear gay, it's even when I'm alone. It's absolute hell. This is the third time in 7 years I've spiked so each time lasting 6 months. I have spent 1 n half years in bed suicide because of this for someone to dismiss it as bullshit really pisses me off. I'm sure my family would be annoyed too as they have had to watch me suffer, not eating sleeping, socialising, the tears, the attempt at suicide. They cry just as much as I do. I havnt had a single minute of peace.since December, I've missed Xmas, my birthday, a family holiday. It's not just simple denial. I have lost 28kgs this year. I spend hours everyday on gay porn in the hope I enjoy it so I can get peace but I get nothing from it only more confusing and anxiety. You're know it all ignorance is quite possibly the worst human trait there is.