Last month, I told you guys about the fact that I am married (to a man) and really struggling to repress my attraction to/desire for women. I haven't been married long, he knew I was bisexual from the start, but I am going through major changes and I hate it. I just turned 25 and I don't want my life to start going crazy. I want to be young and happy, while I'm young. I should be the happiest I've ever been now; I'm still technically in the 'honeymoon stage,' and we have a little boy who just turned 7 months. And yet, I can't sleep at night. I have weird dreams when I do sleep, and I never feel rested, I never feel at peace. Every night, I am online learning about other women in my situation, trying to figure out what I should do, reading different opinions. Some say that I should approach my husband about it, that I am denying half of who I am and that I will only get worse from here. Then the others say that what I want to do is be a whore, that a cheater is a cheater, and one person online said "I'm so sick of seeing people say they're bisexual as an excuse to cheat..." Ugh. :***: But my husband has me. He gets to make love to the gender he desires, the only gender he desires. I on the other hand am SO attracted to women, more than men, physically. But I am in love with a man. Sex is not good...but what can I do? Every night I am looking at women's photos, and all I feel is tremendous guilt. I 'm fighting off a sour stomach all the time, because I am so stressed-out and consumed with guilt. I just want my life to be stable...All I feel like is a bisexual cliche, and I HATE it...This is what biphobes says we are: greedy, unfaithful, cheaters. And is that what I'm becoming? I hate it. I am so lost and sad. I don't know how many more nights like this I can take. :help:
I think the best thing to do in your situation is go to a therapist who specializes in bisexual problems/issues and seek professional help. The problem with online forums is all we can do is give you advice but our advice isn't always that credible. I could tell you to leave your husband and pursue woman but wait a minute 1) I've never been married 2) I'm too young to give marital advice 3) I don't remember what it really feels like to love a man too well 4) I don't have responsibilities like you do having a child and being in a committed marriage. So, anyone on here regardless of how experienced they are or not can give you crazy advice that can lead you nowhere in life. It's really up to YOU. But, the reason why I highly recommend seeing a professional is because they have qualification and experience and have devoted their time and work and selves to helping others with problems like yours, plus if anything goes wrong you can yell at a therapist versus someone on the internet. Some of us on these forums (like myself) may genuinely enjoy giving advice and care about you and want to help you but the truth is asking me is like asking your mom or a friend or basically a stranger for help meaning I'm sure you don't listen to EVERYTHING your mom or friends suggests. Yesturday for example I posted a thread asking for help from obsessive thoughts related from my sexuality and talking about my therapy and how I have suffered with OCD for years and it's ruined my life. Now, some random stranger on here read my entire cut down mental health story and told me I actually have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder.) At first I read this analysis and freaked out but then I realized a few things 1) This guy is not my therapist who had told me I have obsessive thought problems 2) This guy has no idea what I have been through and my life experiences 3) He's just a confused and random internet stranger ( I even went on his own profile and read all his own posts about struggling and being confused) You're not a bad person for craving woman and you're not a cheater. The fact that you're genuinely worried about this and seeking help on a forum instead of just cheating or doing anything unfaithful shows that you care and are faithful enough.
Aw Raindrops, I'm sorry you feel this way? If I get you correctly, you husband doesn't know you're bisexual? If he really loves you (and if he is open about it), then I think you should tell him this. You can tell him how much you struggle with it. Will he be understanding? Clichés don't pop into existence without a reason, do they? We might assume them to be true. Honestly, they are not. If you were 100% straight, you could've had desires for other men as well! Your cravings have nothing to do with your sexuality, is has something to do with your level of sexual activity. "greedy, unfaithful, cheaters", is complete nonsense and you know it. (*hug*) Yet you FEEL that it is true. You think you are unfaithful, but why? Because you think of other girls? Perhaps your man thinks about other girls as well, I bet he does. It is normal. It makes you human. (&&&)
With your problems putting you under so much stress and pressure, and the stakes being so high, I can only sign and second her post. Of course we can give advice, but it sounds like in your particular case, professional help is your safest way out of misery. The issue is finding a professional experienced dealing with persons in your situation. So you need to find someone like that, as a bad therapist can cause just as much damage as bad online advice. Till then -carefully- picking good pieces of advice on here might be the way to go. I can just say that you didn't exactly -choose- to entertain these thoughts, so you shouldn't feel guilty until you really used it as cheap excuse to cheat.
