I am a Christ following lesbian in a not so accepting house. I am often challenged by my father on my sexuality, and I think he might try to change me. This morning, my dad left out a Bible verse for me. It was about not conforming to the world. I knew were he was going, and I felt uncomfortable. I asked him why he showed the verse to me. He responed to me with a confused look, and replied with a question. "Why did you choose to be gay?" I responded to his reply. "When did you choose to be straight?" He kept going, asking me to answer his question. I told him that I didn't choose to be gay, that I was born with it. He gave another confused look, and asked me another question. "When did you notice this?" "When I was four. Now, when did you choose to be straight?" "Forever." My step mom broke apart the conversation to prevent any conflict. She knew the differences in opinion were great, and didn't want it to get heated. Heck, i wasn't even allowed to express my sexuality in the house! (No rainbows or I get lectured.) Let alone talk about it. I have already reconciled my sexuality and faith. God made me a lesbian, and being a lesbian does not mean conforming to this world. I don't understand why people act this way. Will somebody please explain this? What should I do?
I am sorry your father is making you feel horrible. I think that is something that happens in all relationships with parents: we want their understanding, but sometimes they are not capable of doing it because they want us to be like them. It is not always about sexuality, many parent/child relationships are difficult because the child is different in some way. I've had a difficult relationships with my father, because he did not 'see' me for who I was, but he saw me the way he imagined I was. My advice is to stop wanting that your father sees you the way you want to be seen, don't pretend you are not gay, but also don't try to make him accept it. He probably never will, or if he does it, then not now. If he wants to believe that you are bi, or that you will marry a guy, then let him, because it is not your responsibility to make him less of a bigot. To me it looks like having close ties to him, and wanting his acceptance will always backfire: if you were straight, but decided to not be religious, then I am sure there would also be conflict based on that. You don't have to live there after you are 18, you will be able to move out and be your own person, and for the time that you are there, pretend to go along with what he wants, because it is not worth of your energy to try to be accepted by him. Edit: in other words, hide your 'true self' until you can get out of there, or are old enough to just move out in case things get bad. Don't give him reasons to try to change you, pretend that you are going along with what he wants.
I don't understand why people act this way. Will somebody please explain this? Your father is religious and the Bible tells it's wrong, that's why he acts this way. Even if you think the Bible doesn't say it's wrong, google it.. There are many homophobic parts in the Bible unfortunately. What should I do? Pointing out that the Bible is also pro homosexuality won't help, because he will point to the homophobic parts. So that won't help. I think you should point out some studies (there are plenty of them) that show that being gay/lesbian/bisexual is in your genes, that it is NOT a lifestyle. It will help a little.. It won't solve his issue anyway, because of his religious views. I agree with NonsnsOnStilts: [...] and wanting his acceptance will always backfire: if you were straight, but decided to not be religious, then I am sure there would also be conflict based on that.
The homophobic parts weren't in the ancient bible. In Greek, the words used in the verses pertained to other sins, such as child molestation or perversion for any sex. In the old testament, the verse meant not sleeping in a woman's bed not because they were gay, but because she had a period. They only stoned homosexuals to death if they had sex with someone they weren't married to. The only homosexaulity condemned is one outside of marriage. The rules are the same for homosexauls as it is in heterosexuals. So, there is NO excuse for Christians to be homophobic. Do your research!
Wow wow I'm only trying to help. You didn't even answer NonsnsOnStilts who also tried to help you. Anyway, your view on the Bible is your view. It's matter of fact that you can see it as condemning homosexuality. That's probably what you father thinks of it as well. Here's something to read: The Bible and homosexuality - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia And about the "do your research", I'm only telling you what CERTAIN people believe. I'm not saying what is right? Why would I? That's not up to me. :icon_wink
Hey noe, I'm not ignoring you guys. I am really thankful that you guys are here to help, I sometimes don't reply. Thats not because I don't care. Believe me, I DO! I am very thankful to NonsnsOnStilts, she has very very good insight. I really appreciate it, really! Forgive me if I appeared distant, I am that way. Thanks again y'all.
testify sister, soo glad someone besides me sees this. and as to your questions, you might have to bide your time till your on your own. all things come in God's time we are taught and all things are possible through Him.(*hug*)
Just to say, your questions were great. Shouldn't have answered two in a row though, if he wanted a confrontation like that it should have been tit for tat. I'm sorry he's acting that way though.
