Trouble defining sexual attraction

See person. Do you want to rub yourself all over them. yes? Sexual desire. No. Probably not.

 

*Raises eyebrows* And if one gets that impression with absolutely no one?




P.S. Sorry for somewhat hijacking, Chrome, though hopefully it's still relevant.

 

Then presumably you haven't experienced SEXUAL ATTRACTION.

Keep in mind that OP asked for help defining SEXUAL attraction not 'physical' attraction. With the best will in the world, I don't think you can declare something to be sexual attraction without that fundamental sexual component, the 'I want to do sexy things to you' edge...

You can experience physical or aesthetic attraction without the sexual component but those are different things.

 

I have a hard time with this, too. Further lines drawn between physical and sexual attraction are even more confusing... what is the difference there?

 

When you find yourself checking out girls, what is going through your head?

 

All that tells me is that you don't register it...

Next time you find yourself checking someone out, take note of what you are thinking.

Are you thinking 'those are sturdy, child bearing hips'? 'I want to bury me face in her chest'? 'Her eyes are so sparkly I want to stare at them forever'? 'Their skin looks soft, I wonder what it feels like!' 'Such strong arms...'?

Keep in mind that just because you feel sexual attraction to someone doesn't necessarily mean that you want or intend to have sex with them. Heck, half the people I find sexually attractive I would never get anywhere with because if they came to me and said 'So, how about you and I have some sex?' I'd be weirded out because that's just not what I want out of a sexual relationship.

Realistically I think the difference between aesthetic and sexual attraction is the point where you stop thinking 'I like your face' and start thinking 'I want to be close to your face', even if you're not 100% sure WHY.

 

Sexual attraction means "I want to have sex with you" while physical attraction means "I think you look good". You can desire to have sex with someone you find physically unattractive (which still defines sexual attraction), and physically attracted to people who don't even fit your orientation for aesthetic reasons.

 

I agree. I've felt physically and emotionally attracted to some of my female friends but I wouldn't actually want them. For me, I think there are sort of 5 levels of attraction proceeding from most platonic to most sexual:
1) Intellectual - if this isn't there, almost nothing else happens. And with intelligence, I can even be attracted to feminine guys but still have no physical attraction > 2) Physical - this is that 'ooh... pretty...' reaction that can happen with any girl I find attractive who passes in my general direction; it's the human form of 'ooh... new iPad...' and is inherently objectifying > 3) Emotional - this is the 'I need this person in my life' feeling, it makes you miss them and long to be with them; for me, this can be extremely intense and even make me confused as to whether or not it has transcended to... > Sexual attraction - for me, this is the stage of wanting; the point at which 'ooh... pretty...' turns into 'I can has?' ;p At this point, it's normal for me to think that I really want to touch someone and be with them, this has mostly been coupled with > Romantic Love - at this point, I'm planning the wedding :lol: and also, it becomes less about me doing something and more about us being fully intimate with each other (i.e., complete trust and mutual respect).

So, that's just my take on it but hopefully, it helps! You'll figure it out so, don't worry too much!

 

Thinking really means that much?? I always thought, what I think when I see a beautiful girl doesn't matter. I thought it's more about how you feel

 

Umm... your feelings are essentially thoughts that are unfiltered so, same difference.

 

Oh, so...

Physical Attraction: That person is pretty. I can objectively admire their physical beauty?

Sexual Attraction: That person turns you on in a sexual way?

How does this account for romantic attraction. Does it fall somewhere in between the two?

 

For romantic attraction, think 'best friend' and then take it a bit further.

EDIT: I should clarify what I mean by that.

Think of your best friend in the world. Now try and isolate that feeling you get knowing that right now, you aren't with them. Now try and think about what it would be like if they were here. Isolate that feeling too.

Now those two feelings are your basic foundation components of a romantic attraction. It's a connection along the lines of you wanting to spend time with a person. I mean they won't necessarily be as strong because you are basing it on a fantasy relationship you don't have most of the time but still...

At least that's how I see it.

 

That's one of the areas I have trouble with. The only relationship I've been in was with a long-time friend, and many of the crushes I've had were also on friends. Is the difference between "best friend" and "romantic attraction" simply that you want to touch/cuddle with your friend? Or does touching and cuddling fall under "sexual attraction"?

 

To be honest, this is exactly why I don't bother splitting the types of attraction...one the one hand you could call it romantic, on the other you could call it low level sexual, or it could just be 'friendship'.

If you think about it, it's harder to create a romantic attraction to someone you don't already know, because you need to know something about that person. A lot of the time these are based on fantasies, because we see a person we like and want to believe they are perfect for us in terms of personality and we build from there.

When it comes to friends, we already KNOW their personalities so we don't have that fantasy. We have most of the romantic components there already. Your friends are close, you have in-jokes, shared activities and experiences...you talk and you know a lot about each other. Realistically a lot of the time close friendship really isn't that much different to a romantic relationship...

That being the case I guess wanting to be 'intimate' in terms of physical closeness might push it over the edge.

 

I wish that it was that simple, but none of that factors into reasons on why one may want to have sex with someone. The definition you gave for sexual attraction does not differentiate between inherent want v. external motivation for wanting sex with someone.

Here's my definition #1 of sexual attraction - The state in which one is experiencing inherent needs to participate in sexual activities with one or more people based on physiques/personality.

There's another definition I have for sexual attraction which is "sexually motivated toward trying sex under needs/desires".

The first definition allows for members of any orientation to have sex which goes against their orientation as external motivation for wanting sex is permitted. Why would anyone go against their own orientation? Sexual stimulation, experimentation, curiosity, demands, ego-boost, demands, money(yeah, I know money can fall under demands...) and so on. This would mean that there exists people of any orientation doing it for one or more reason which does not imply sexual attraction.

The second definition is closer to the definition given by the member quoted above. But, it takes into needs/desires into account.

 

Yeah. I can sleep with a guy without it changing my sexuality, but I have to not desire him.

I think the problem is people confusing physical attraction with sexual, because you can still be sexually attracted to someone without them being "hot".

 

I was curious about the same thing myself. I always assumed that sexual arousal when seeing someone = more or less, sexual attraction. But some people have told me that's not necessarily the case.

What about being aroused at the thought of a person, or fantasizing about them? Does that count as sexual attraction, too?