So, I'm a senior in high school, and I always though I was straight until maybe last summer. I have a crush on a genderqueer friend and I don't know whether I'm attracted to the female side of their personality and body, or just their masculine side and their masculine presentation. But since I realized that I have a crush on them, I've been trying to figure out if I'm attracted to girls. I've had minor crushes on guys in middle school, and I can recognize when I see an attractive guy, but I'm not sure I could ever have a *relationship* with a guy...I just don't relate to them that way, but maybe I haven't met the right guy yet...? I'm attracted to girls, but I read an article that said even straight women consider the female body to be sensual, and not necessarily so for the male body, so I don't know if that means anything. Anyhow, I'm worried because I'm going off to college next year and I can finally begin to figure it all out without worrying about my parents' reaction, but I don't know for a fact that I'm a lesbian, so is it misleading to, say, flirt with a girl? Anyhow, I'm so shy I doubt that situation would become more than a hypothetical. Does anyone have any advice?
Hey CoffeeJunkie, I can totally understand what you mean. I thought i was straight as well til pretty much one and a half year ago. Eventhough I first started to question my orientation and than had a crush on a girl I know what you mean. When I figured out that I might be attracted to girls i started thinking about my general relationship to boys. I never really could imagine to be in a relationship with one. I always felt weird thinking about me dating a guy. But I realised that it was different when I was thinking about being with a girl. Eventhough I realised that im still scared to admit that I like girls because I am scared that one day I could meet a man I love and I wanna be with ... Like you said... maybe I havent met the right one yet... Like you Im gonna start college pretty soon and I am thinking about how I can figure out things ... I know this post is probably not gonna help you much, but I was kinda glad to read that someone feels more or less the same way i do and struggels with similar things... So maybe we can both find a way out of our situation...
AH I am totally struggling with the sameee! I'm a senior in high school as well and never really questioned my sexuality until I met this girl a few months ago. I have been in relationships or flings with a couple guys over my high school career, but they all didn't last. I met this girl from sophomore year and she confessed one day she liked me. We began talking and I started feeling myself attracted to her-thus leading to my confusion. Throughout the whole process of my confusion we spoke straight forwardly about it, often wondering if it was because my parents restricted our contact to one another that pushed me to her or that I wanted to feel love (my parents are homophobic and caught her touching me in front of my house-my hair twirling it around-and her leaning her head on my shoulder: since she has a masculine appearance sometimes, they were automatically threatened). Since our restriction has gotten worse because I recently got caught in a lie I told them, our bond keeps getting stronger, is it bad that I enjoy doing things behind their back? Like a rush? She makes me so happy even though I still can't give my parents a 100% answer as to why this "ONE GIRL" changed my sexual orientation (not completely-I am still attracted to guys more than girls). They question why and I still don't know! I am still figuring it out!!!! AH. I feel so glad I am not alone.
Wow--I felt silly posting this but it's great knowing other people relate. I feel like I'm in a rush to figure out who I am and pin it down before college but I can't--my parents aren't exactly comfortable with sexualities outside the norm and if they thought I was anything other than straight they would probably change their minds about me going to college on the other side of the country. I guess I should just accept the fact that this is going to take a while to figure out. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in feeling this way. Are you all going to college close to home, or will you be able to figure things out away from your family's opinions?
Well I have this whole post dictating this crap im dealing with a girl I like at home. Uhm, I am commuting to college so still living with my parents....:/
Just tell them !!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved someone for years I was crazy about her but I never told her because I was scared of what people would think and I've regretted it ever since. and we both left for different colleges and now it too late for me to tell her she's moved on and doesn't even know that I loved her. Just tell them you'll be much more happy don't give a shit about gender, appearance or anything if you like them tell them !
