Am I just not a very visual person?

Does it matter whether you are visual or not? It all matters whether you are happy or not. I shouldn't care too much about the fact what qualities you're attracted to. Just go with your feelings. (*hug*)

 

So I guess you're not much attracted by the way someone looks? I'm not that much attracted by looks either, I care much more about the personality.

 

There are three types of people In this world
Visual
Auditory
Kinetic

I'm a AVK. So predominantly auditory which means my main way of learning is through sound You can do a test online can't remember the link sorry

---------- Post added 10th May 2014 at 07:07 PM ----------

By your post id say you was a kinetic person as touch and smell are important to you then sound

KAV

---------- Post added 10th May 2014 at 07:09 PM ----------

10 Questions: Are You Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic? | LonerWolf

 

I'm not horribly visual. As in, I can count on my fingers the times I've seen a guy (or girl) and wanted to talk-to/date/kiss/have sex with him. So my "type" was really kind of vague. Like "I GUESS I'd like him to be taller". But I learned eventually to simply keep an open mind. See if I click with somebody. If so, awesome.

Lex

 

Here's how it works for me: my eyes love the living crap out of the female form, like absurdly so. Yet, being with them actual arousal is difficult to come by. Guys, on the other hand, seldom strike me as very interesting physical specimens. Yet, at least in my mind (cus closet-dweller), being with a guy is as arousing as frick. Had to think of guys all the time the years I was with my ex just to be able to perform for her, even though I loved her very much.

What I've learned: what interest you visually vs. what actually turns you on are often two very different things.

 

The attraction usually starts for me when I get to know the person then some how I start finding them very attractive. Personality is key for me.

 

I am coming to terms with what arouses me, what I find attractive, and what I like sensually.

In my period of suppressing my sexuality I was kind of drawn to people based on their eyes, personality and mental closeness. (guys) I was able to get aroused by being close to somebody, and generally found myself attracted *sensually* to men.

Sensually as: wanting to cuddle and kiss, maybe have sex as a result of that.
I also found voices sexy. I looked at men and thought " he looks good". I never looked at a man and though "he looks hot/sexy/he turns me on". I looked at a guy and though "is he bf material?", or "would I make out with him?".

I never looked at a guy and felt a rush of attraction, or crazy desire, and I've suppressed it for women, so I took my attraction to men as all that there was.

Once I allowed myself to be attracted primarily to women, the story changed.
I can look at female nudes and get all turned-on and achy, which I never did for men. There is a significant difference: male nudes do absolutely nothing for me in terms of turning me on.
On the streets I also notice women's energy, and sometimes I get that achy longing for somebody whom I see walking half a street away. I don't stop to think when I see her: 'is she gf material?, do I want to sleep with her?', it is more a kind of heartfelt longing feeling, that has absolutely nothing to do with the whole assessing somebody for attraction thing, and that I only started to feel, once I've allowed myself to feel it.
i've suppressed it for so long, that I kind of gotten used to operating in a kind of asexual mode, in which I've only allowed myself for 'finding people good looking'.

I've stopped assessing if I find the person attractive or not, and allowed myself to just take the world in, sometimes get a rush/confusion around somebody I do not actually find attractive, and feel absolutely nothing around a person i find "attractive", so it really is a kind of animal, sensual kind of thing, but admitting to myself that I primarily like women, has definitely opened my visual/sexual level of attraction.
It all still is too intense sometimes, so I shut it out still.

 

FWIW, maybe not best to rely are just your visual attraction, then. Sight is only one of the senses. Even if that sense demonstrates a definite preference, what about your other senses? If you really liked guys, you would be responding to his touch, his smell, his taste, etc.. The fact that you don't says that there is something about a guy's appearance you can really appreciate, but it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. I mean, blind people are able to experience attraction too, are they not? That attraction is not invalidated because the sight of their partner doesn't enter the equation, does it?

Honestly, I think I'm obsessed with the female form so much because I wish I could have one. Nearly always the first thought in my mind right after "wow, she's really freaking hot!" is "I wish I looked like her". Sexually-speaking, I really think I prefer men.

 

Possible you're not so much attracted to guys' faces as you are what they are wearing on their face? i.e., confidence and self-assurance? You say you're not a fan of really girly makeup. Could it be because this connotes to your senses insecurity and fakery, which is a turn-off? Whereas these men you are talking about wear nothing but their own calm self-assurance on their faces, which is what you find attractive there?

 

Attracted to "masculine" characteristics =/= being attracted to guys.

Honestly, everything you've ever posted tells me you're a lesbian. Don't fret over being a "phony" so much. Take it from me, the Queen of Sincerity Self-Doubt™. I am attracted to both guys and girls, but I've realized recently most of my sexual attraction is to guys. Guys turn you off, despite the "clothes" (edgy, intense, confident) you admire that they wear. Embrace your same-sex only attraction. It couldn't be more awesome! (&&&)

 

^ This, I honestly do think you're just a lesbian that can sometimes appreciate a man's appearance (including voices and other behaviors too). And that's why you're in the questioning stage.

Heck, I actually think men are more visually attractive than women most of the time, and I'm still a lesbian. Why? Because I only have romantic and sexual attractions for girls. A man being good-looking to me is the same as thinking a baby or kitten is "cute" but you wouldn't want to have sex with children/animals, right?

It's easy to disassociate that kind of attraction as normal non-sexual cuteness, because we're not supposed to be sexually attracted to animals/kids for obvious reasons. So saying you think they look good isn't going to have anyone question that as anything besides innocent.

But women in our society are *supposed* to be sexually attracted to men (Under the view of heteronormative people anyway) so it can cause confusion to a lesbian who finds men visually appealing; she'll get confused and people will question her sexuality. But it doesn't have to mean anything.

Just my take on it.

 

My experience has been very similar here. I suppressed my sexuality for many years and I was always drawn to things like eyes, voices, or personalities but since allowing myself to think about women sexually that has changed. I can look at women's bodies and get turned on in a way I never did with men's.

I think personally I tried to 'make do' with what I was allowed to look at for a long time because the only men I was ever attracted to in terms of looks were very feminine/androgynous men. I didn't feel attracted to their bodies so much as their style and the way they moved, behaved etc. Now that I've accepted my attraction to women I hardly ever notice those men at all.

 

I've got to say, I mostly struggle with this same issue. I've often had a problem being sexually arroused by either sex. I'll admire them, sure. Their bodies or the clothes they wear are often somewhere between meh, to wow, that is something stunning, but the sexual drive, I.E. the waking of the man downstairs isn't there. I wonder at this. I do know i've fantasized about different sexes, but often it's more not a specific person, just a generalized image, like what we might be doing, how it'd feel or look or just the overall appeal to it. But overall, I am rarely stimulated out and about and it takes actually In-The-Act, so to speak action to keep me 'interested' in whomever i'm occupied with. Yes, I've been with men, yes, I've tried with women, but when i see someone out and about my first thought when admiring them isn't 'hey, I wonder how they'd be in bed' it's more commonly, 'you know, that outfit is flattering or not, or it's just moreso along the lines of studying their features and appreciating the lines or curves.

Example: I love the like overshadow on a strong jawline of a man, and the just barely tousled hair with a sort of care free look to it, as if he's a man that saying, hey, life can throw what it may but i'm the type that rolls with the punches and still looks this charmingly good. but to the contrary, I appreciate a lady who embraces the finer fashion sense NOT to clash and who has great taste in hair products and tends to go with less is more policy for make up and has that 'natural' glow.

While in these two instances I am feeling 'SOMETHING' and attraction for both, i still an nor arroused for either, as if to say, i wouldnt at that minute get up and kiss them or pounce them *laughs* But I wouldn't mind getting to know that charming devil-may-cry man a bit more and see if he's also a bit rugged either *winks*