Hey guys, I've been continuously confused about my sexuality for years now. In high school I found myself attracted to women very sexually while also developing attraction to men in parallel. I went through a phase where I mostly liked women for two years and then by the age of 18 switched almost completely to men. What I've noticed is that my sexuality is rather circumstantial or cyclical in nature. For one, I began liking men when the emo style hit because androgynous boys seemed to physically embody both male and female traits. In university I focused solely on twinks and androgynous boys, mostly emoish/scene guys as my fascination because of their delicate features, long hair and bony-ness. I also fell in love with the idea of the mysterious, feminine man/boy - the kind who are the sensitive artist type and do girly things like dress in tight, cute, hipstery clothing or talk with a feminine voice. However during this period I was in a gay relationship with someone who I later realized I was not in love with or sexually attracted to as he was physically not my type. I realized that I am very picky about men...obsessively so where I seek the most androgynous features, which often results in me sleeping with 18 to 19 year olds. I'm 25 now and the younger crowd is tiring me out with their lack of maturity. Also during this period I have, every couple of weeks become extremely attracted to women and was unable to look at men. This occurs often when I feel down, or rejected by a boy, or simply if I see a girl that gets me excited. I will cycle between boy traits and female traits on a monthly basis which makes identifying my sexuality difficult. One problem is that I have rarely expressed romantic interest in women in the kind of rose coloured glasses kind of way. I will often find women "hot" or great as friends, often focusing on their personalities as a way of arousal, but I seldom become infatuated or emotional in the kind heart-pounding way with women that I do with feminine boys. When I see a feminine gay boy, my heart skips a beat and I can't help but stare. To me, androgynous males are like works of art that I want to worship. When I talk to these boys, my palms sweat up and my heart pounds in my chest as if I'm talking to an angel. I don't know what kind of sexuality I have since bisexuality doesn't even seem to describe what I experience. I thought of emosexual or androgynosexual, but those don't take into account my recurring physical attraction to women, of which I find myself attracted to ALL women of any body type, unlike my attraction to males which is very specific. I need some clarification of what exactly I am and how I can date without stabbing myself in the foot. Thanks.
maybe you just need to meet more people your age that are gay and 'build' a taste for that. your case is uncommon. you are sexually attracted to woman, and sexually attracted to androgyenous males? do you like dick or vagina better? and on what scale of difference.
While I don't know all of the terminology surrounding these issues, to simplify your situation (in my perspective, feel free to correct me if I am wrong) it seems like you are bisexual but you have a very strong "type" when it comes to males. Straight people, bisexuals, and gay people can have "types" and I'm sure you've heard that before. Bisexuals can also like different genders in different ways, and it sounds like that is the case for you. I agree with lowkey, you may want to try to meet more gay men your age, so that it's not just the physical but the emotional aspects of a guy you are attracted to. Maybe there are less guys of your type in your age range but I'd be surprised if you were not able to find any.
You sound about like me to a degree. I seem to "rotate" between attractions. Sometimes I will find myself attracted to men and not women, sometimes women and not men. I do believe I may have a couple of "types" of man that turns me on. I tend to like the lean muscular feminine males and to a degree the "buff manly" males. For females I only like the feminine females. It can be rather confusing I know. Wish I could be of more help.
Im glad to know I'm not alone; I rotate between attractions too. But for me I'm really mesmerized by androgynous women, not so much androgynous men. Someone once told me that people who are bisexual on the gay end of the spectrum feel attracted to members of the same sex in general but only a specific type of member of the opposite sex, and vice versa. Basically if you lean one way or another, your attraction is more diverse in the direction you lean. This helped me in some ways because when I was first questioning I thought I was predominantly straight then, but then as time went on I found myself attracted to more of a variety of ladies so I don't really know.
would also like to share some people think androgynous attractions are themselves a form of denial, the act of 'not letting go' to the idea of living a straight life, and also from being conditioned to the opposite genders appearance and inside identity
