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How did you feel about the idea of falling in love at first?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Vanl3001, May 11, 2014.

  1. Vanl3001

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    I've posted this question under sexual attraction vs. love but I only got a few responses so I'm posting again. I have a question for all y'all who are out and comfortable with your sexuality (or anyone with insight to share). When you first realized that you were attracted to people of the same sex, how did you feel about the idea of falling in love or settling down with someone of the same sex? I am fairly comfortable with being sexually attracted to other women but I feel like I could never fall in love with a woman. I've sort of been assuming that my attractions are simply sexual, but based on some things I have read and some things people have told me about their experiences, I'm starting to get the impression that some people feel this way in the beginning and sort of grow into the idea of falling in love with someone of the same sex. I would like to know if you struggled with the idea of falling in love with someone of the same sex even when you were sexually attracted or if the idea of falling in love with someone of the same sex felt natural to you when you realized your same sex attractions. Any and all answers would be helpful!
     
  2. Quem

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    Did I answer it..?

    Anyway, I'm perfectly fine with it and I've always been fine with it for as long as I can remember. My country is very tolerant so that has never been an issue to me, and my I don't care way of living helps a lot too. :icon_bigg

    ---------- Post added 11th May 2014 at 11:13 AM ----------

    I did anwer it indeed, but you didn't get few responses, you got 8...
     
  3. Jason1998

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    I feel the same way. I am bisexual and feel that being romantic with a male is very weird and unnatural for me. I feel that I can fall in love with females much better.
    For some it's purely sexual but for others it's not
     
  4. Vanl3001

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    That's true. I'm just looking to get as many responses as possible. Plus, I kind of wanted to change the title as soon as I posted it so I just decided to re-post.
     
  5. xValeriejj

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    Hi darling :slight_smile:
    I am a lesbian myself and I recently came out of the closet to my bff. The first time I fell in love with a woman was 3 years ago. I actually felt sexually attracted to her and thought of her all the time. It just happened, I can't explain it, but at some point... I just fell for her completely. Of course I started to think about how beautiful she looked, her figure, eyes and everything. But for me it was her character that made me fall for her. It wasn't a struggle to me, it just happened <3 It felt natural, because without me realising it, I spreaded boatloads of love to them.

    Unfortunately, I moved away 1 year ago and thank goodness i got over it because I met a totally different woman. I still love her, but she is straight, so it's hard for me to hide my true feelings. I wish I could tell you how beautiful she was. But to return to your questions: Sexual attraction was part of the process that made me fall in love with these 2 women. But, the reason why I absolutely and utterly fell in love with them, is because they have that sparkle in their eyes and the most beautiful and inspiring minds. Love is for me both sexual attraction and a wonderful character. That's what made me fall in love with them.

    Hope this story can help you :slight_smile:
    x
     
    #5 xValeriejj, May 11, 2014
    Last edited: May 11, 2014
  6. Fallingdown7

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    For some reason I'm the opposite of what most people describe on this forum. When I first came out as lesbian, I was okay with the thought of being romantic with women, but never sexual. For some reason sexual attraction toward women bothered my internalized homophobia, but romantic attraction never did.
     
  7. thekillingmoon

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    Once I accepted my sexuality, I could see myself falling in love with a woman, yes. I really wanted a girlfriend and being in a relationship. I'd try to look on dating sites and all I'd see was women looking for sexual experimentation and it made me super depressed and lonely. I couldn't sleep with someone without having a romantic connection.

    I was worried though what people would think if I actually got a girlfriend. I'd have to come out to my parents. I definitely wasn't prepared for that. I'm a little more comfortable with it now, although coming out to my parents still terrifies me. But life is too short, you can't worry what other people think forever. And if you happen to meet the right person, it would be foolish to let them go only because someone won't approve.
     
  8. BookDragon

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    I didn't feel great about it before I came out about my gender to be honest.

    I accepted that I was bi-sexual but the idea of being with a guy long term felt kind of weird to me...

    Now I've accepted who I am the idea of being with either is fine. I'm quite happy to fall in love with whoever...
     
  9. pinklov3ly

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    When I first came out, I didn't think I was capable of falling in love with a woman, but I have since then.

    I can remember joining this dating site (I was around 18/19) and there was this girl who I thought was absolutely beautiful. Well, she stated on her profile that only a woman has the key to her heart and at the time I couldn't see myself saying anything like that.

    Honestly, it felt so unnatural to me, but once I started having feelings for a woman, it no longer felt that way. I guess I was afraid to fall in love especially with a woman because I'd tried so hard to deny my feelings for women.

    Although I will admit that when I was much younger (6-13), I was practically in love with my female teacher and two of my best friends growing up. And at the time, I didn't know that what I was feeling was more than just admiration.
     
    #9 pinklov3ly, May 11, 2014
    Last edited: May 11, 2014
  10. Vanl3001

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    Thank you all! This has been really helpful! I'm starting to feel much more comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with a woman. Thank you!