Hi I am new to these forums. I resisted to get advice and so posted here as it seemed to have the bet responses to similar problems. What is bothering me is I am straight I would think that I am completely straight. The thought of kissing another man is the biggest turn off. I am not attracted to men at all. I am happily married and fancy the hell out of my wife and we have a good sex life. Yet for a long time (basically since I was sexually active) when I have had some drinks or generally not sober I have thoughts about just dragging a bloke away and giving them a blow job. My fantasy’s get go from there wanting more and more to happen to the point of them taking me and having full blown gay sex! The thoughts can be about my mate I am with or a random that I see there would be an opportunity to get him alone for a bit. These thoughts are getting stronger and stronger and I usually end up going home and replay the fantasy over and over in great detail with masturbating even taking whatever object that I can find so that I can pretend to be the man’s dick at use it to pretend that he is taking me from behind. I get extremely aroused and the feeling of having someone (something) inside me and believing its happing for real gives me a tingle like nothing else and I don’t want to finish, because as soon as I have ejaculated though I am discussed at myself for even thinking about it especially for using something to penetrate myself and as I said before I can’t and don’t see myself kissing them or being intermit. This I am worried about but the main problem is I get closer and closer to acting on it! The more I have these thoughts the more convinced that if I was to try it would work even though I know that it wouldn’t. I am worried that at some point I will think that the fantasy will happen and actually try and take straight friends trousers down to play with them. I would be so ashamed and not know how to speak to any of my friend or how to deal with my wife. Its got so close before that I have undone a mates trousers while he was sleeping on the sofa and started to go down on him thinking the fantasy though that he would wake and it would all kick off. I stopped very soon after starting when he started to wake. What can I do about this ?
Dear friend I seems that you indeed have a problem. If you think your actions based on these lusts will harm you or your wife don't. As it says in your little Side panel that you are straight, but curious. This process takes time, I know I went through it along time ago. Wait some more find out who you love men or women. Whatever your choose we still except you. If need something answered just ask -Dex
Your fantasies nearly did get out of hand. I'm surprised your mate didn't wake up sooner on the couch. What if he didn't want that? Fantasies are just that – only in your head. They do not reflect reality. If something is triggering these thoughts, try to remove yourself from the people or situation that is causing that. If kissing another dude sounds gross, then you wouldn't want to be in another relationship with another man. Possibly random hookups, but how long would you do that before it loses its thrill? Besides, you need to be faithful to your wife. If you just have to be penetrated, consider having your wife use a toy on you to help you out. Otherwise, if these thoughts persist, I would invest in counseling. Good luck, stay strong!
wait OP... did you just say you raped your friend at the bottom there ? 'you took down straight friends trousures and went down on him till you thought he was goingto wake up' that sounds like rape OP. better chill
This sort of thing is Taboo for hetero males, however it does happen in healthy hetero relationships. as IG88 pointed out, Talk to your wife about using toys on you, see if that will curb your fantasies, they do make vibrators designed for prostrate stimulation.
I think Claudette has a great point. There are strap on toys that are great. My favorite is the feeldoe because it doesn't require a harness. Back when my wife would have it in her, well, it was better than going down on a man. I just wish she was more into it.
Hi there and welcome to EC. I worry about what you have posted, because there are aspects of it that were part of my story as well. I was also married and had 2 children when my gay fantasies evolved beyond fantasy to actions. It is a slippery slope for sure. Going so far as to go down on a friend while he's sleeping says that you've crossed that line already. So what is behind all this? Have you talked to anyone about this? I would suggest talking to a therapist openly about what you are thinking and feeling about this. The fact is that you're married and consider yourself straight. You wouldn't want a relationship with a guy. I felt the same thing. I didn't want a relationship with a man because of course that wouldn't fit with my personal situation - I was married to a woman. But I continued to see myself as 'bi-curious' and kept 'experimenting' with other men. When I was caught and my wife and I separated, I was then free to really consider what felt right for me. And free from the constraints of my heterosexual relationship, I was able to envision having a relationship with a man. And that's what I'm now doing. We've been together for 6 years, married for almost 3 years. I suppose including penetrative sex with your wife might satisfy this need. But based on my own experience, I doubt it. So I would again strongly suggest that you take time to speak to a counsellor about how you are feeling and what you are thinking to make sense of it. This is something that is affecting your life, and your relationship - whether you think it is or not.
