Hi everyone! I guess the title is pretty self-explanatory. I think I was 12 when I first noticed that I might be a little different from my peers in how I felt about girls. As time went on, I saw my friends get into relationships with girls, so I felt pressured into getting into a few different relationships, but I remember trying to avoid being intimate or romantic and would have felt more comfortable just being friends. My last relationship was over five years ago, and it ended shortly after I tried to make out with her, but it felt so awkward and uncomfortable. I then told myself that I wouldn’t worry about dating until I got to college. I guess I should also mention that I had occasional same-sex attractions and even fantasized about men, but I thought that once I got to college, those things would go away. Once I got to college, though, I found myself still experience the occasional same-sex attraction, but I still didn’t think much of it and assumed that I was just struggling to find a girlfriend. I’m not sure what caused it, but several months ago I all of a sudden started to seriously question whether I was gay. I found myself becoming more attracted to men and cognizant of the fact that I would look at guys much more than girls when walking around campus. I can tell when a girl is attractive, but I don’t feel the same kind of emotions as I do when I see an attractive guy. Even in porn, I find myself looking primarily at the guy. My question to you folks is, is it weird or abnormal for one to start questioning this stuff at age 20? So many people say they realize they are gay/bi in their early teens, but I really am not starting to entertain these thoughts until now. I’m also unsure about the history of same-sex attractions and fantasies I’ve had; they’ve been around since I was 12, but I’m not sure if it’s just a teenage phase or an indicator of my sexuality. I don’t want to come out as gay only to realize twenty years later that I’m actually not. I haven’t been romantic with a man before, mainly out of my own fear (driven mainly by anti-gay family members and hometown). If anyone out there has gone through something similar as me or could simply lend some advice about this confusion I’m having, it’d be greatly appreciated.
Hi! I am actually a college freshmen right now and going through the exact same thing. It is really nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way!
I'm 20 and feel exactly the same. First year at uni. Assumed my lack of interest in girls would resolve itself at here and... well that hasn't happened and I'm getting a bit more confident about who I (might) be.
In my opinion I don't think there is any age limit in questioning. For me I'm happily gay in my life and those questions popped up earlier in my years but through seeing other peoples experiences some of them question when they are 30, 40, or 50, some of them question while they are married, and some of them don't even get the answer when they pass. But I'm sure enough that questioning is a normal thing and it limits to no age. Hopefully my answer helped. And if you have more questions don't be afraid to ask. ^_^
