So first things first I'm bisexual but the way I'm attracted to guys and girls are very different. Is this a common thing? Or am I just... idek? As I've only recently realised im bi I know what I like in a guy and I find it way easier being attracted to a guy than a girl. I'm still figuring everything out obviously but I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me not knowing what I like in a girl or the pure fact that I'm way more attracted to guys than i am girls. I know for certain that there is a level of attraction there though maybe like 30/70% but every time I compare the way I feel it plants seeds of doubt in my mind and it is exhausting. I've never had a relationship or even kissed someone so I don't know if that makes it more or less difficult to navigate. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for in this post any advice or opinions welcome and thanks in advance!
- When did you figure out you were bi? (I'm wondering if you're still in that sort of unclear acceptance stage) - In what ways are the attractions different? - Can you imagine enjoying a relationship with a guy? With a girl? - Can you imagine enjoying kissing with either gender? What about sex?
It's not unnatural to have a preference for one or the other. I don't think I've ever met a bisexual who was split 50/50 with both genders. I guess the best thing you can do is try not to compare, and just figure out what the attraction to each gender is.
Oh my dear lord, I feel like I just read something that I wrote! This was my EXACT situation when I first came out and started to accept it. After a while, I started to get more feelings and attractions towards girls after I had accepted it and became more open about it. Now I'm more 50/50 with guys and girls. But it does fluctuate. There are times when I am more into guys than girls and times when it is the reverse. Sexuality is a pretty fluid thing, as I tell other people. But most of the time, a lot of bisexuals find they prefer one gender over the other. Or can be romantically attracted to one gender over the other, etc... I've never had a relationship with a guy or girl, nor have I kissed a guy or a girl. But I know the attractions that I have. You just have to keep asking questions and try to accept it and be a bit more open with it. That's what I found helped me. But then again everyone is different. The advice given above is also really helpful! Hope I helped a tiny bit! I'm always here to talk if you need it, or just want someone to talk to!
Totally the right thing. Just cuz you're bi doesn't mean you don't see gender; men and women are very different and it's very possible to like certain things about one gender and other things about the other gender. It doesn't have to be a 50/50 attraction to count as being bi; you just fall into relationships as they happen, to whoever you're attracted to at the time. I have gone through (am still going through) the questioning/exploratory phase, and I'm just tired of asking myself what I am. I envy people for whom it's so easy, they're just gay and that's that. I know that doesn't make life easier, but the constant back-and-forth is tiresome. Just let time do its thing; you'll find your preference (or lack thereof). I agree with DestinyInfinity: it often changes from one day to the next! I think because we're all so overwhelmed here, we should just think about this as the most exciting orientation: every day is a mystery!
