when i was dating a guy i felt trapped like it was a chore. when we broke up i felt this relief like weight lifted off my shoulders. I always said that i wasn't worthy enough to be anyone's girlfriend i used to say i don't know how to be a girlfriend. In 6th grade i had this one particular skirt that got the attention of these boys in my class. I wore it a couple more times because i liked the attention i was getting from the boys. when i first started to research about the LGBTQIA community at 16 i went as far as buying a same sex bracelet and watching movies and web series ALL THE TIME. i felt like i was a part of the community. but then i think i only felt this way because i wanted to be a part of "something" because i was always the loner and felt like an outcast. so i don't know if that was just a way of wanting to fit into a community that didn't judge as much as the community i was used to being around (straight) but not necessarily wanting that lifestyle?? When i watched coming out stories i didn't relate to them because i could not recall ever having crushes on girls i never questioned my sexuality before then but for some reason i couldn't stop watching. In 7th grade there was a counselor i was seeing she was young and pretty. I remember there was a time i asked to leave class just to go hang out with her. when i got to her office i made up an excuse just to stay . In 11th grade there was a woman who came in the class talking about joining the Air force. and she was so beautiful i couldn't stop staring at her. I was watching her walk and how she looked from top to bottom. i was doing it on the down low because i didn't want anyone to see that i was checking her out. Now at 21 I still notice cute guys but now its more of a admiring what they are wearing and their grooming like nice haircut, really nice chin hair, or nice abs i would love to have abs myself. things of that nature. I wear a rainbow anklet to get one girls attention in my class. i know stupid :/ I feel as though i am only feeling this way because I obsess about if i am a lesbian or not everyday and my brain is making me think that i am. like, its a phase until i have sex with a guy. it will change. ill be normal and flirt with and date men! and put all this behind me. its just crazy to me to have had so many fantasies, thoughts and believing these ideas about one day marrying a man and to be happy or being with a boyfriend and really wanting these things but not being able to do it with ease in reality is so confusing to me what is wrong with me?.
There are different kinds of bi. Even if your bi you may want to date only men, just means that you wouldn't mind dating a woman
Well bisexuality is attraction to more than one gender. While you seem to be only physical,ly attracted to women you have to ask yourself if you would outright not have a relationship with one. You may just be straight and curious, or you could be hetero-romantic bisexual. But it's really up to you.
I went through something a little similiar myself! Perhaps you could be bisexual, pansexual, or maybe even curious - It's really hard to tell. Do you find you have emotional, romantic, and sexual attractions to both genders? Do you tend to fall in love with people? Note that those are too different things. If you just want to know how it would feel with either gender, then you are curious. However, if you not just want to know how it feels, but you actually crave and want a relationship with a man and a woman, then you could be bisexual. If gender doesn't matter to you and you find that you don't necessarily fall in love with a particular gender, but you fall in love with people who just happen to be of both genders, then you could be pansexual. I know it sucks to hear this, but you'll be the only person to determine your sexuality - I can't tell you all the answers because I don't know how you feel. However, I believe that you could be curious - Try to think about your actual attractions to men and women a little more! And no matter who you end up to be, we will still love and support you! Let me know if you need more help!
I've never been in love. I've experienced sexually with a woman before but i wasn't attracted to the woman and i am still curious about what it would feel like to make love to a woman that i do find attractive. I just see men and I convince myself that i like them. I'll have a crush on a guy and it would never last. i would loose interest once they start to catch feelings. I always friend zone every guy i meet.
As far as figuring things out, try to forget labels for now and just have your heart open. Be receptive to little thoughts like mmm, she's cute, he's nice, etc. Just try things and go with it. Make little mistakes, get out there! I'll never be gold star now, but my time spent just trying things and people out was great. I learned a lot about myself and my past and experiences helped me be who I am today.
No wonder you are so confused - If you've never been in love, then you have every right to still be questioning and you should take it slowly. Since you said you were sexually attracted to the woman, I'm thinking you could be curious - But still, with men, it seems like you don't have much experiencing being in love with them either... It's really hard for me to tell... Just wait until you do fall in love to take apart your sexuality! I know it's hard waiting, but trust me, one day, you'll be sure of who you are! Talk to me if you need more help!
