I'm gonna try and ask two questions at once in this thread so DEAL WITH IT! So I have decided that I know for a fact that I am sexually attracted to guys. I've tried to look at it in so many ways but I can't change fact now can I. But the problem is I've never had a romantic attraction to guys (That I can remember) but anyway I don't ever really have a true romantic or sexual attraction to women either I'm not sure why. Does this mean I'm gay? Or am I just weird? I wouldn't mind going in either direction but the solid truth is I'm still super confused about my sexuality. So what's wrong with me I guess? I've thought about why but I can't get an answer I've convinced myself it's because I don't know anyone who is gay so I can't date anyone. But I'm still not sure. Now my second question is there a girl and she really, really likes me. But as said above I'm so confused that I don't know what to do. Me and this girl have been friends for a couple years and she knows that I'm questioning my sexuality but that doesn't seem to matter to her she still says she likes me. I didn't know what to do so I turned her down as gently as possible. What should I do I mean I don't want to hurt her but I don't want to go out with her and then find out I'm gay that is just asking for an awkward conversation I want to avoid. I just don't want to hurt her since she is kinda sensitive to things. What should I do? So those are my questions any information you could give me would be great! Thanks for any answers guys I really enjoy this site and the help it gives me or even just the chance to talk about how I feel. THANKS! (&&&)
This is just my opinion based on what you've written. It sounds like you're either bi with a preference toward guys or you're gay. You can sleep with your friend if you want, but just make sure she knows that you probably won't like it. (if you do like it, it'll be a nice surprise) Sexual attraction often precedes romantic attraction for gay people because same-sex romance feels "wrong" at first. I think it's as a result of seeing mostly straight romance all around you and on TV for most of your life. Sexual attraction is primal and instinctual. There you go. Don't take my word for it though. Peace be with you
Um I'm not sure how to react to that considering I never thought of sleeping with her. So I'm just gonna go to the other things you said. It sounds like that could be the case but I've never been one to care what others think of me. So as it makes sense I'm not sure if that is the case. However I do thank you for response I appreciate all the help.
Sorry, I didn't actually answer your questions. And my answer was a bit sucky. There's nothing wrong with you, and there's usually no reason for being gay, bi, queer etc... Personally, I used to be desperate for a reason and a meaning to everything, but accepting the mystery is the best thing I've ever done. In the interim, you could just say you're queer. It's quite a broad label and generally just means you're "odd" or "different" (in a good way of course). Even a straight person can be queer. As for your friend, you did the right thing by not leading her on. Might be an idea to confirm with her that nothing can happen more than friends and hope that she takes it well. She probably will. Awkward conversations are always hard, but almost always necessary. Hope that helps more than my first one. Peace!
I can't really help you with your first question (sorry) because I'm confused, myself. I have been in a similiar situation with a friend, though. We had been friends for a long time and then he told me that he had kind of a constant crush on me. I liked (and still like) him a lot as a friend but I wasn't attracted to him and I didn't have any romantic feelings for him. The thing is that I liked him so much as a person that I tried really hard to get myself to develop feelings for him. For several months our relationship was totally weird because at times we tried to kind of start a relationship but it never worked out because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make myself want him. What I'm trying to say is that if you don't have feelings for your friend, it's totally okay and probably the best thing to do to gently tell her no (as you said you did). I've been in that kind of situation with another friend, later, and said no from the beginning and our friendship went back to completely normal within a few weeks. Of course, just because things happened a certain way for me, it doesn't mean that it will be the same for you. This is just what I experienced and what I think. I hope it helps a little!
It sounds like you are probably gay, but only you can really answer that. I say date the girl. Give it a shot. She knows what she is getting herself into. Trying to date her or be intimate with her might give you some clarity.
Thanks for the answers guys! But I think I've decided that until I know who I am in the sexuality department I'mm gonna not date anyone for a while. I don't want to lead someone one on then tell them I was never really attracted to them. Now if I am gay or not I seem to keep leaning towards gay than straight. I'm just worried that I'll say I'm gay but then I will change my mind and that this is possibly a phase (However I doubt that). Thanks for the answers guy they help a lot and it's nice to talk to people who know what I'm going through.
