Ok so where do I start? I'm just so confused about if I like girls or guys or both or what. It all properly started about a year ago, before then I'd never even considered the possibility that I could be anything but straight, all my girl friends would talk about boys and all my boy friends would talk about girls and my family would always tease me about boys and stuff so it never really crossed my mind I guess. I've never really liked a guy before, I don't think I'd ever really liked anyone until about a year ago. I and my friend, we're both girls, always "joke" around about being together and liking each other and stuff, being "touchy feely" with each other but it's all supposed to be a joke right. But for a while now it feels like I really do like her, everything about her, like I might even love her but then again I don't even know what it is to love someone for sure. And the day I started to realize I felt like this it was like some little light bulb went off in my head and I began to question was I into guys, like I realized I look at girls when I'm out in the street and stuff and female celebrities, probably more than I look at guys. When I look at girls I just get this feeling and it's different to when I look at guys but then I just think how can I be sure and how can I have never started to question and think all of this stuff for the first 15 years of my life and only have thought it for the last year. And once I started thinking about it I couldn't stop and every day I'm constantly asking myself so many questions, watching coming out videos on youtube and googling stuff. I just don't know how to be 100% sure and if I'm anything but straight then I feel like the great relationships I have with my family and friends will change for the worse and I really don't want that, I want them to love me and it's not that I think they'd all turn against me but I just feel like they'd treat me differently and my parents especially my dad would be weird about it and react badly and then I think it'd make things awkward because of how I mess around with my friend and I'm just so confused I have no one to speak to and when I've been looking online I'd come across this site quite a few times and thought someone might be able to help or talk to me. I just don't know, I keep getting so upset about all these thoughts in my head :-(
Hey goldengirl. We're basically in the same boat here. I've had my fair share of crushes on guys, but essentially always because of how they looked. There was nothing really there in those crushes. It was like getting a new toy. Exciting at first, but it became boring really quickly. So basically a few days ago I started really questioning my orrientation and I told my sister, then my mom I was questioning. I was nervous about my mom's response, since her support and love matters so much to me, but while she was confused and a little bewildered, she accepted it, after a little while. I suggest finding one person at a time who you trust the most and just come out with it. Tell that person in private how you're feeling, whether you're sure or still uncertain. And remember, it isn't terribly uncommon for someone to think she's straight her entire life, and then realize later she likes girls. Some people are in their forties or fifties before they come to terms with their sexuality. I guess the only way to be 100% sure is life experience. I think I'm lesbian, but I feel like I'll only really know when I find a girlfriend who is right for me. In the meantime, don't try to fix a label on yourself. You're you, and that's all there is to it. You're still the same person you were before you started wondering. The people you love and who love you should definitely accept you.
