Hey guys, So for the past four months I've become involved with a girl who I like (I am an 18 yr old female). Basically, my parents found out my attraction to her and made sure I stopped texting her and cut off all my contact to her. This whole situation blew up after I lied to them about seeing her. I have another forum on it if anyone's interested in helping me sort that out, sorry. Long story short, the girl I like reacted to my parents smothering me in a kinda weird manner. She said she was scared of commitment and since this is both our first time involving ourselves with girls in a kinda serious manner, its scary. She said she needs time and my patience to see what move to make next. For some reason I am hurt by this, I guess because of the fact that when my father cheated on my mother the past year, I became cold and bitter towards affection/love. She was patient and waited for me to change. I risked a lot by lying and involved my friends to cover for me when I would actually spend time with her. It took a lot for me to write her notes or show my affection or kiss her because of the distrust I had that I saw from my parents relationship. I know its selfish of me to feel this way, because I put myself in her perspective. But it just hurts so much because I believed she would 100% stick by my side regardless (Which I get because my parents when psycho on me she backed away). Putting yourself out there was risky enough, especially for me who usually I am not one to put SO much effort when I just like someone. The real problem is that senior prom is soon, where my parents bombarded me to have a date. There is this boy that liked me who wasn't going to prom, but on an impulsive and hurt decision I asked my best friend who spoke to him to see if he had a date. He wasn't going to prom to begin with, but my best friend convinced him. The boy that likes me doesn't know its because of me, but my best friend is now pressuring me to go with him. I haven't told the girl I liked yet, but the date wouldn't mean a thing to me. Its just for the pictures and to calm my parents down. What do I do? Am I wrong? Prom is this thursday.....I NEED HELPPPP
Oh man, I wish there was a quick shortcut button to just breeze through these things but let's be real. There are a lot of issues at play here and I think, since you're kind of running out of time, you need to prioritize which ones you want to deal with first. If you're parents freaked out about you dating a girl then maybe a little more calm discussion might make them understand. I don't know your parents and I don't want to assume anything but if it were me, family would be my number one priority to set right first. Maybe they just need time to adjust and accept who you are. Afterwards, talk to the girl and try to reason out with her. Tell her your side and listen to hers as well. You might be going through the same difficult times and this is a situation that needs teamwork instead of blame. If she refuses to understand or even hold a civil conversation, I don't know, maybe she's just not right for you. Take your time with these because rushing through all these important issues is definitely more important than prom. If it were me, I'd probably sit prom out if it comes to it. Hope it helps!
