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Any help?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by bouldersun, May 18, 2014.

  1. bouldersun

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    Hey, I was hoping to find a little advice here from anyone who's been in a similar situation. I am currently in a 5 year committed relationship to a girl, who I love very much. We have sex probably twice a week and its satisfying. However, I seem to find myself blushing around men. I think that I have some underlying feelings there, but its odd. I only ever fantasize about women, I'm attracted to my girlfriend. I guess I assume that I'm bisexual, and I think my girlfriend thinks that as well, although we've never talked about it. I guess I'm here because the blushing seems to be getting worse, and I'm not sure wether its an anxiety complex or wether its some deeper feelings. I was hoping someone here has been in a similar boat. Any help would be great. Thanks
     
  2. Rumpletubb

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    Can you describe the reason why you blush? In which kind of situations and is there something/someone who you are more inclined to blush in front of?
    Also, how certain are you of your sexuality?

    I'm in more or less the same boat, with the exception that I knew my sexuality prior to the relationship.
    I'm in a straight relationship, going 5 years in a month and I'm bi with stronger attractions to males, in general.

    I'm not quite sure what you should do. As long as you honestly can answer yes if you ask yourself if you love her and want to be with her, stay.
    If you can't, it might be time to break up.

    Before you decide on that, however, I think you should try and work out the reason why you are blushing.
    Same as you, or mabey not exactly, I didn't get the chance to fully live out the "gay-side" of my sexuality.
    I have periods where it gets a little tough to remember that I have corners of myself I haven't experienced. But love conquers all!
     
  3. mangotree

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    I've been in a similar but kind of opposite situation.
    I was in a gay relationship and was blushing and a bit nervous when a certain woman talked to me at work.
    For me, it was just that the woman was breathtakingly beautiful and charismatic and also the fact that she was one of my superiors at work - so she had the whole "power" thing going for her as well.

    Whether its the same for you or you're actually sexually or romantically curious about being with a man, I wouldn't worry about it too much unless the lusty feelings get really strong and intense.

    Peace be with you.
     
  4. bouldersun

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    I think the reason for the blushing is similar to what mangotree mentioned, and is a sort of power/inferiority complex. I think it started back in high school, when I had testicular cancer. It does just seem to be getting progressively worse. I do love my wife, however i fear that I'm hurting her reputation, as some of her friends think I'm gay. I wonder if her life would be much easier without me in it. I guess I would like some sort of answer on wether or not I'm really bi or not, without hurting her. I don't get turned on at all by gay porn, although i hear from others thats not always the case. Yet, I find myself at a point now where i think I just need to know for both of our lives to go on in the fullest. I suppose I should just tell her?
     
  5. mangotree

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    Have you ever hugged a guy?
    If so, how did that make you feel?

    As for gay porn, there's apparently a difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction but... perhaps have a go at "soft porn" just guys touching each other, kissing, not necessarily with clothes off.
    Maybe even watch some of a TV series called "Queer As Folk" (the US version) and see how you and your body reacts.
    Doing one or both of the above might give you some more ideas.

    As for telling your wife, I think most people would suggest waiting until you know a bit more about what you're going through.
    If I'm honest though, it sounds like you want to tell her so that you don't need to sneak around in order discover yourself.
    Sorry if that's confusing...

    Keep us updated (if you want).

    Peace!