Need help with a few questions please!

Well to answer your first question I didn't start questioning my sexuality until I was 15, figured it out when I was 16, but didn't really accept it until this year.

In regards to your third question, why most cases? I do believe that people were born with their sexuality. I'm not sure I believe that environmental factors reinforce sexuality. It might be possible I suppose and there has been research done on this particular topic, along with biological factors, but I don't think I believe in it.

Hope that helped a little

 

Ahh, ok. I believe many people don't want to accept their sexuality or deny and suppress it due to our heteronormative society and the stigmatism that surrounds the LGBT community. It's not uncommon for these things to emerge later on.

To answer your question, I was always into guys, but I started getting a minicrush on one of my best friends in high school and that's when I knew. I knew I wasn't a lesbian and then when I heard about bisexuality, I knew that that's exactly what described my experiences

Glad I helped a little I'm always here if you wanna talk more You can message me

 

I can answer your first question: I knew I was gay since puberty, I never had a crush on a girl.

Maybe you could be bisexual? Sexuality can be a wide spectrum, some of us prefer one sex even if we're LGBT while others prefer more.

 

I don't think porn is a very good deciding factor for sexuality. It might contribute a little, but I don't think sexuality should be based off of porn. I've never really had sex with anyone, so I can't be very helpful there. I just know that I have attractions to two genders.

 

I think because it's all fake. None of it is really real. Watching it and experiencing it for yourself are two different things. Like I said, it might contribute a little, but it shouldn't be a deciding factor. Sexuality should be based on your attractions, not by the porn that you watch.

 

I've had great experiences with men but I now prefer women. I still think that sex between two people of opposite genders "makes sense" to me physically, but in terms of visual and emotional stimulation my preference isn't usually aligned with that.

I suspect that being exposed to porn at a young age allowed you to develop your sex drive at an early age. It's possible that if you only watched straight porn you inadvertently conditioned yourself to normalize straight sex and reject the possibility of gay sex; and if you're bi then this could have influenced your later behavior. But it probably didn't change your innate orientation; that is more or less fixed around a point, but within that it can be fluid.

 

Quite possible. I just think, in my personal opinion, that it's a little overdramatized and that you can't really get a real sense of things just by watching it.

 

I think for MEN porn can somewhat be a good indicator, however for women it isn't. Studies show that women are physically aroused by all sexual acts, including animal and child porn (if they view it by accident and are even disgusted by it, the body still responds with excitement).
It is also very common for straight women to be aroused by lesbian porn, and for lesbians to be aroused by gay male porn (A large number of lesbians are actually turned-off by lesbian porn).
For men, I believe It's linked closer to their orientation (most of the time), It just isn't for women.

Now to answer your questions, I somewhat knew at 14, but there are also a lot of people who don't know because they're conditioned into a heteronormative society. This is normal, and doesn't make you any less gay to find out later.

For number 2, I haven't slept with anyone, but yes gay people can enjoy the physical stimulation from the opposite sex.

3- To be honest, I do think It's innate, but I'm not sure if enviornment can influence it- just make you more well aware. When I realized my dislike for straight culture and heteronormative relationship roles, that is what made me accept myself far more.

This makes sense too. I feel like I was the opposite though. When I identified as straight, I thought straight sex was abnormal and it made no sense to me why anyone would do it outside of wanting to have children. Guess that helped me prove I was gay!

I think porn also increases sex drive (Like you said), but I don't think It's related to orientation.

 

Hi and welcome!! Newbie here too

As far as your questions...
1) I knew at an extremely young age that something wasn't quite "right". Thinking back there were many clues that I was attracted to guys

2) not married now, but with my last two "straight" relationships the sex fell off very rapidly.

3) I believe we are born this way, though I also believe there are many factors that play a huge roll in our identification. Porn, interest, hobbies...etc

 

Dude not sure if I can be a great help because I'm still confused as hell and my heads all over the place. But I used to be straight, not confused, not in denial, 100% straight. Then at 18 my attractions to women died over night I remember it clearly, the exact moment and day, it set off my ocd chronic now at 25 again over night I became attracted to guys, I'm not sure if it's Sexual as I gay porn doesn't work atall, I absolutely hate what's happened as I am in a relationship with a women who happens to be my soul mate. No body believes me and people try to tell me who I am or what I have felt and it annoys me to no end. But I am 100% sure that sexuality can change, it is incredibly rare but my 6 months of research and looking I have found another 4 people it has happened to. Them like me have tried to kill them selves. All I know is it can happen. And apparently the gay community hate me for saying that

 

1) I knew I had a kind of a boyfriend attraction toward my best friend - a guy - when I was 6 or 7 years old. As far as a kid can understand attraction I mean.
I used to kiss girls at school behind the toilet shed for the fun of it, but my connection to my friend was much stronger than that. Incidentally we're both gay now lol.
I didn't put a label to it until I was about 21 though.
Some how, growing up - no one ever told me that it was wrong or even different to be attracted to a guy. I didn't find that out until my late teens.
During my childhood, I thought "gay" and being attracted to guys were two different things.
I heard "gay" in passing about people like Freddy Mercury, Elton John, George Michael, the REM lead singer etc... but didn't really understand what it "meant".

3)
There's too many differences between human beings to give an exact answer.
I believe everyone has a different path. e.g.
Born gay / know they're gay, born gay / don't know what gay is, born gay / life situation makes them believe they're bi or straight, born bi / know they're bi, born bi / don't know what bi means, born bi / resist gay side, born bi / resist straight side, born gay / life events make them prefer living as straight, born straight / life events make them prefer living as gay, born bi / life events make them prefer living as gay or straight, born straight / live as straight. I've missed lots there and haven't even taken gender and gender identification into account but my post is already too long. The point is, it's different for everyone and self discovery doesn't stop at a certain age either.

Peace!

 

Kind of off-topic, but I always wondered why that is exactly. I've read of the studies, and they all indicated that while men are aroused by porn reflecting their orientation (straight men being aroused by porn featuring females, gay men being aroused by porn featuring males, bisexual men being aroused by both), women tend to be aroused by all gender combinations, regardless of orientation.

I really wonder what's the reason for this discrepancy. Some people may assume it's an indication that most women are inherently bisexual, but I don't think that's it, because if you talk to the lesbians that enjoy gay porn, for example -- most of them would never want to be with a guy in real life, in fact some are even appalled by it, so they're definitely not bisexual, they just like seeing two guys go at it. I thought about it, and I wonder if part of it is primal vs. psychological, in response to men vs. women's responses... Like, men see something on screen, and they're aroused because their initial instinct is "I want to f*** them." Whereas with women, perhaps their reasons for arousal are more along the lines of, they like watching people enjoy themselves, or the situational aspect, etc.

Personally, I consider myself bisexual and I always liked either lesbian or female solo porn, not much of anything else. I guess because I've always liked seeing the female form, and I like imagining what I'd like to do with the women while I'm watching them. I'm usually not that into watching guys even though I do enjoy being with men irl, but I enjoy being with women romantically and sexually as well. But the lesbians liking gay male porn thing is so prevalent that it almost makes me wonder if there are actually lesbians that enjoy lesbian porn, haha. The movie The Kids Are All Right even poked fun at this phenomenon.

 

I think this has to do more of how a woman's body responds sexually, rather than mental attraction or fluid sexuality. Women are biologically designed to become aroused physically when they see a sexual act, so sex is easy and non-painful for them. I've said this around, but It's also been shown that even rape victims are physically aroused by their rapist and can even orgasm due to this biological factor. It has nothing to do with their sexuality being designed to 'enjoy' rape, but rather the factor that it makes the act less physically damaging to the body. It's more of a defense mechanism. So it makes sense that it works elsewhere too.

I'm one of those lesbians you described in the top paragraph. I love gay male and solo male; but I do not find men physically attractive, and the idea of being intimate with a man makes me want to vomit ): For me, and a lot of other women, we are less visual with our porn; what turns us on is background and situation, people enjoying themselves. Even though I am watching men, I can visualize them being women or people I am attracted to since It's WHAT they're doing and HOW that turns me on...not really 'who'.

Even as a strong exclusive lesbian, I hate lesbian and solo female porn (90% of the time, I have found ones I enjoyed) because I find most to be unrealistic, male-oriented, and sometimes even borderline offensive. A lot of women in porn 'try' too hard to be sexy (fake moans and such) and the acts in lesbian porn are completely unarousing to me (I find most of the women to be unattractive too 99% of the time).

Of course one can argue that porn is unrealistic in general, which is true. But I think that's what draws me to solo male, because most are just real guys doing real things without 'acting' or worrying how they act on a camera. A lot of gay porn feels more real and raw than porn directed toward straight men (even if some are pretty bad too). That's how I see it.

There are lesbians that like lesbian porn, I just find that I'm one of the ones who don't.