OK, I'm not sure if I'm gay, bi, or just plain straight with an anal fixation. This would be a confusing problem on its own but my Aspergers Syndrome complicates it even further. I have known about my aspergers for most of my life, but it has only been in the past year or so that I have actually researched it and found out what it actually is and how it affects me. Yeah, it is kinda weird, but all I knew was that it was something that I had that affected me, and just chalked up anything consistently odd or strange about me to the fact that I had it. Basically, it is a mild or "high-functioning" form of Autism. I tend to be quiet and reserved, preferring to sit on the sidelines and shun the limelight due to the fact that I have trouble reading social situations and am very afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. You know, that moment where everybody stops what they're doing and just stares at you thinking "I can't believe he just did that." Have had quite a few of those. But the real kicker is my complete and utter lack of automatic sexual response. A pretty girl or boy, heck even a group of them walking by would fail to catch my eye. I would have to have them pointed out to me, and even then it's more of a "well okay, I guess they're attractive, but so?" Kind of a thing. The same goes for if anyone is hitting on me. Total cluelesness. I am 25 and I haven't even been on a first date for crying out loud! It's like running into a wall at the start of a marathon, only you don't even realize it. This makes it very hard to find a sexual preference based on feelings. (I have no idea if this is typical of aspergers, as I am only starting to learn about it. I would suggest googling it for more information if anyone cares to know exactly what it is) I have looked at gay and straight porn, and am a little more attracted to the gay stuff. But I'm not sure if this is a preference based on feeling or if it is just because I am going with the closest option I can relate to. Recently, and quite by accident, a new medication I have been taking has helped me become more "normal" and not so reserved/apergerish/socially inept. I doubt I would even be writing this if not for this development. It has given me a glimpse of how regular people interact with each other and prompted me to do the same. Like when complete strangers ask you how your day is going without really caring, I never got why until now. Or how people make Smalltalk with complete strangers. I just never understood why they did it if they A) don't care, and B) will likely never see this person again, let alone remember them an hour later. Now I get that it doesn't cost anything and can really only give you a positive outcome, but I digress. While I still don't turn my head or get feelings for someone walking by, it begs the question who am I attracted to? I tend to notice girls more than guys, but I don't really find many guys or girls who stand out. I don't really know where to go from here. Any suggestions?
Sweetie, you are Aspy. try not to worry to label your sexuality as well. I know you want all your soldiers lined up in a row, and a nice neat name for them :icon_wink, but when you do finally meet someone, be it male or female who "floats your boat" (and it will happen), then you'll know who you're attracted to naturally. Until then, I say conserve your stress for social interactions of as many kinds as you can handle, and see what happens. It really doesn't matter if you don't have a label right now. How do I know all this ………the ancient voice of personal experience :icon_bigg
It's very common for sexual confusion to pop up along with symptoms of Asperger syndrome. If you read the book "Different Not Less" by Temple Grandin you'll find stories of several people with Aspergers who also had issues with sexual orientation. For several years, I thought I had Aspergers too and used it to explain my sexual issues. I no longer believe I have it but I learned quite a bit about it. I'm surprised that a pill is helping you because I had heard that there was no medication for Aspergers. You have a very clear writing style and thought process, that makes me believe no matter how bad your diagnosis, you are not too far gone. You seem like a smart person, and I think that will lead in the right direction over time. Try not to overthink things and just enjoy things as they come.
Just out of curiosity, do you have a clinical diagnosis of Asperger's and if so do you get any type of hop at all? Please note, I'm not asking this as trying to hint at anything or make a statement or point. I'm genuinely curios. As a father of an autistic child myself and someone who suffered the same kind of problems as my son (although when I was younger the understanding of these issues was significantly less, so I just kind of hot brushed off) I'm always curious to get people's input on this... Happy days
For some time I've thought I may have Asperger's myself, at this point I feel I am at least "close" to the spectrum. It's confusing when there are things getting in the way of emotional insight, which has always been a difficult area for me, as well. For a long time I thought maybe I was asexual, too. I think dealing with some emotional and mental health issues seems to have removed some barriers for me and I've realized recently it's not the case. For you, maybe you are asexual, or maybe the social disconnect is getting in the way. Here is a question for you, though. Do you want to have a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone? If not, that is ok, and you shouldn't have to force yourself to try to be attracted to others if it's not natural for you or something you desire. If so, I think you will have some more work and time ahead of you trying to determine what fits best for you. I think it's quite common for aspies to have trouble in this area, but many find relationships and are able to make it work, even if it takes longer than nonautistics to get there.
I do have a clinical diagnosis, but while I do have Aspergers, my symptoms are thankfully somewhat mild in comparison to other people who have Aspergers. Keeping in mind that aspergers manifests in a range of symptoms, and any aspie can have a completely different set of issues to deal with than other aspies. Personally, I manifest a lack of social drive. It is not that I am actively seeking to avoid people, it's just that with the exception of a few close friends and my family, talking to people (especially the "fluff" that nobody cares about in a conversation) is more of a chore than anything else. It doesn't really seem to have a point, I'm not that comfortable when I'm doing it, and if I can have a more enjoyable time doing something by myself, why wouldn't I? I also do not have a firm grasp on social rulesas well. I have enough to fake-it almost all the time, but I still slip up every now and again. This only makes me further shun random social contact as well as watch what I say extremely closely. This totally wrecks any natural flow I may have had in talking to others. I am also very much focused on doing one task, sometimes to the exclusion of all else. Kind of the same with my areas of interest, I find few topics intriguing but when I do, I really get into it. Almost obsessively in some cases. Since I was diagnosed, in 4th grade I think, I have been seeing a therapist and a psychologist on a regular basis. Extremely lucky break on that one, as I was also diagnosed with depression and minor ADD. If you and your son are not seeing a therapist, I would highly reccomend finding one (or two) that you feel comfortable with and seeing them at least once a month.
The medication is Wellbutrin or Bupropion depending on if it's generic or commercial. (No difference at all between the two.) And it's weird, because I started taking the medication as a longer lasting concentration aid than Adderall but it went in a totally different direction and helped with my aspergers syndrome. I never expected there would be some kind of "magic pill" out there that would totally cure me of aspergers. Although this medication doesn't totally cure my aspergers issues, it gets darn close. Or at least I think so given that I've never really experienced not having aspergers. I can actually socialize with people even if the subject matter is boring or irrelevant. Squeee! You have no idea how big an accomplishment this is for me. It's like being content eating vanilla ice cream all of your life and suddenly adding chocolate syrup, while tripling the number of tastebuds in your mouth. You knew about chocolate before, but oh boy does it taste delicious now!
I also have aspbergers syndrome, so I know how you feel. I personally don't take medicine for it, I was medicated as a child without my consent and felt very betrayed when I found out. For me I also was confused for a while, although more about my gender than my sexuality. I think that you are probably asexual, but I think that with your new meds, time will tell what you really are.
