Thought I was over this. Getting seriously anxious.

Maybe you are just not interested in this particular guy? Also, some women don't like sleeping with men unless they are in love with them. Maybe this is your case? Or maybe you are bi and float around the spectrum.

 

But didn't you on another thread say your actually bisexual , maybe you just don't like this particular guy like the other person said . I don't think you should worry about it not every bisexual person is attracted to every man or woman they see same way I'm a lesbian and not attracted to every woman I meet , Plus don't feel bad for wanting a 3way .

 

Sexuality is fluid. At this moment in time, you seem to prefer women. You may find it stays like that. Maybe in a few more years, or after a relationship or two with women, you'll swing back to liking men also again. You shouldn't beat yourself up over this. You go with what you're feeling, and live your life. If something doesn't feel like it will work for you, don't dwell on it. Dwelling just leads to missed opportunities and lost time, both of which could be spent enjoying life, and with those who you do feel will work for you.

While this isn't on the same level, it is something easy to think about. Ever notice how a young kid can become so obsessed with, or so into, a toy or medium? They really get into it and enjoy it, and it goes on and on, and never does it seem like it will stop. Then, something else comes along. The kid may still like what he did previously, but the passion has settled on one thing in favor of rising for another.

You're going to like who you like, what you like, and how you like them. It's better to get to that as opposed to denying yourself this. Life is short, and so very precious. Spend it wisely, lovingly. You have nothing to be anxious or worried about, because having conversations with you, I am most confident, that your intelligence and your strength are more than enough, to endure and to be okay.

 

I'm going through the same thing. Thought I was straight until 6 months ago, then realized I liked girls and said I was bi, then began to think I was gay for awhile, and now I'm wondering if I might be bisexual. I wish there was an easy way to figure out but I think you just have to sit back and go with the flow rather than worrying about the label, which really sucks, because knowing the label would make things so much easier.

 

I think it's really unfair that people always try to talk people who have previously thought they were bisexual out of a realization that they could be gay. I understand the hesitation, and the warnings, but just like it's acceptable to question whether you're gay or straight - can't it be acceptable to question whether you're gay or bi? I also don't want to further the stereotype that bisexuality is a stepping stone, but sometimes - it can be, and I don't think that should be negated.

I say all of this because I am in your exact same position. I have fought with my orientation for a very long time. I am 26, and have been identifying as bisexual for years - even though I have had few run ins with girls. When I came out as bisexual, it was because I knew I was attracted to girls, and I knew I felt feelings for them - but I was dating boys, and thought I wanted them.

I've now come to a point where I question where that want comes from. I have issues, (like all of us). My issues tend to come out in an obsession for acceptance and attention from men. Thinking back, every guy I have ever liked or been in a relationship with, I have done so because they wanted me - and I needed a man to want me. But I have never really enjoyed sex with a man. I have gotten off, because I was being touched - but I have always almost settled when I was with men. Like I knew I wanted chocolate cake - but all that was in the room was vanilla and I wanted cake enough that it didn't matter if it was my favorite flavor.

I am a newly recovering addict and I am finding where addiction has crept into other aspects of my life - including relations with men. Now that i'm starting to break down that addiction, I want nothing to do with men. Emotionally or physically - but I still want women. Even more so now.

I have no idea what's going on with me. I understand the sexuality is fluid thing, and I think that is a very real case for a lot of people - but there are those of you out there who do identify as gay, and for you - I would assume you don't feel quite as "fluid". Maybe some of us "fluid" people out here are doing so because in our hearts we're too afraid to settle down into the place we belong.

The point of all of this I guess is, yes, maybe you are just bisexual and not attracted to this guy. But also, maybe there is a reason people like me and you are so hell bent on explaining ourselves out of the box of bisexuality, and maybe we are longing to accept ourselves as actually homosexual, and are longing to have others do the same.

 

Are you attracted to other men currently or not at all ?

---------- Post added 21st May 2014 at 10:28 PM ----------

I'm assuming this was directed at me I asked her that because yesterday she told me she was bi and I wanted to know what happened that made her question .

In my opinion I think fluid is bisexual and there is no outside box but because of biphobia today people want to make an outside box so they don't have to identify as bisexual . To me if you have attraction to both sexes no matter how little it is or big your bisexual even you if want to identify that way or not it's your choice . Bisexuality is just attraction to both sexes never says how much you have to like them . And bisexuality is not a stepping stone but some people chose to use it as such when their not sure about their sexuality or in my case when you think your bi but you aren't .

 

Orientations and preferences can change with time. I'm sure you can think of a few things you maybe loved a few years ago but now no longer are keen on. Just do what feels right!

I don't think you are making bisexual people look bad. You genuinely view or viewed yourself as such but now may be discovering that a different identity my suit you. So what? You are being honest with how you feel at x time.

Best of luck!