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Constantly changing my mind about my sexual orientation

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by pnn8155, May 23, 2014.

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  1. pnn8155

    pnn8155
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    So I’m having a lot of trouble figuring out if I’m gay, straight, or bisexual

    I often think I’m gay because I cannot imagine having a romantic relationship with a man. Before I stated wondering if I’m gay I told people that I didn’t want to get married or have a long-term relationship because I just could see myself in one. The thought of having this kind of intimate relationship with a woman however sometimes even makes me feel giddy. I’ve had plenty of crushes on women (even one on my close personal friend) and none with men but sometimes I think it’s just cause I haven’t met the right guy but it just seems so easier with women.

    Sometimes I think that I’m straight though because I feel I can be attracted to men and in a much more powerful and primal way then with women. But on the other hand I find male genitalia rather repulsive and I feel being close with a women much more sensual then with a man.

    I feel like not having this figured out is keeping me from telling anyone because I don’t want to come out and then change my mind again. What I would really like to do is discuss this with one of my friends but I just don’t know which one. The one I tell everything to is the one I have a bit of a crush on and I feel like this would just make her uncomfortable. I have one friend who identifies as bisexual but we aren’t supper close and I don’t really trust her. I have a couple of other friends that I could tell but I’m not as close with them as I am with the one I have a crush on and it feels weird telling them and not her. Also I feel if I tell one of my friends then that will open a gate and I’ll have to tell all of them and I don’t think I’m ready for that.

    Wow that was really long, sorry, I hope I didn’t bore you
    :icon_bigg
     
    #1 pnn8155, May 23, 2014
  2. wanderinggirl

    wanderinggirl
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    There are a couple threads about coming out while questioning, including this one

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/137821-coming-out-while-questioning.html

    Basically it's not the worst thing in the world to not know your orientation, and if it isolates you from others then maybe getting it off your chest would help you work through it. It's a little more complicated but it sounds scarier than it is to say "I like women but I don't know if I'm gay yet but I might be but sometimes I think about men but I don't want to date them".

    Why do you feel weird having your crush know?
     
    #2 wanderinggirl, May 23, 2014
  3. bisexualkpopfan

    bisexualkpopfan Guest

    Hello!

    You seem to be leaning towards women, but then again, you could be bi because of how you described your attraction to men. Then again, you said you couldn't imagine a romantic relationship with a man, so yeah, I think you are more attracted to women - However, only you can determine your sexuality and I would think about it some more. Look at who you are attracted to and see if that helps! Let me know if you need to talk some more^^
     
    #3 bisexualkpopfan, May 23, 2014
  4. xopinkox7237

    xopinkox7237
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I feel the same way as you, and I actually did come out to one of my friends who is actually gay. She just told me know for sure before you really come out. I think it is a good idea to come out to a close friend, like maybe the one you have a crush on, but just leave out that detail that you have a crush on her. If it feels like something burning in you, then it might be a good idea just to have it get of your chest. It felt really good for me to tell her and i told her i didn't want to really talk about it too much and she respected that. I think just spending time getting know both males and females really well and maybe exploring is the best way to go. If you need anyone to talk to I am here and know I am going through the same thing and it can be confusing
     
    #4 xopinkox7237, May 24, 2014
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