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Confused by sexuality...Could your sexual orientation be effected by mental illness?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Elementsroyalty, May 25, 2014.

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  1. Elementsroyalty

    Elementsroyalty
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    I'm sixteen and I've recently moved into a co-ed college after being in an all-girl high school. In my high school, I was never really attracted to anyone, but I thought being in college and having boys in my classes would make me more interested in dating one. However, I'm still disinterested as I was before.
    I've tried analysing all my thoughts and feelings to see why this might be. The only plausible conclusion I could come with is that I'm lesbian. As soon as the idea came to my head, it just felt right.
    I've never found guys all that attractive. There are male actors I think are handsome and I admire their skills, but in a very platonic way. I've never really liked hanging out with boys, no matter how nice they are. I feel uncomfortable around them, because I don't quite understand them. They are so different and unpredictable, I don't know if I could trust a guy enough to have a relationship. The only time I've wanted a boyfriend is when my class mates pressured me.
    At least half of my friends are lesbian or experimenting with girls. The few friends who are straight I just can't quite connect with. When they talk about attractive boys, I get bored or I can't quite see what they see in them.
    I definitely find girls better looking than guys. I've found I subconsciously stare at girls who I find pretty or have been really nice to me and I occasionally look at pictures of actresses I find attractive.
    I also much rather hang around a girl than a boy. I feel I can understand and sympathise with girls. The idea of being in a relationship with one doesn't seem wrong, in fact it seems cute and exciting. I also feel there might be a few girls I have crushes on at my college.

    However, I'm not sure if this is just a 'phase' as people call it. I'm currently suffering depression and anxiety (because of a recent traumatic event) and I'm not sure if this is warping my sexuality. My parents say that I'm confused and these feelings towards girls will pass.

    What are your thoughts?
     
    #1 Elementsroyalty, May 25, 2014
  2. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    Re: Confused by sexuality...Could your sexual orientation be effected by mental illne

    Let me ask you this.

    Let's say you decided to act on your feelings and embrace this attraction to girls.

    Let's say you find a girl who makes you feel tingly inside and makes you happy.

    Let's say you date her for a bit and you love it. Then for whatever reason your break up.

    No let's say your feelings change. Suddenly you like boys. It's not very likely but we are being hypothetical.

    What was wrong with your 'phase'?

    There's nothing wrong with same sex attraction, something I'm sure you are aware of.

    What is wrong with acting on feelings of love just because they might change later?!

    Let's have another hypothetical.

    Let's say you're straight as an arrow. You find a guy you like. He's nice enough and he makes you feel good.

    Should you date him, knowing full well your feelings might change - your feelings for this guy could be 'a phase'?

    You can't ever know if and when a phase will end. In fact that whole idea of a phase I find irritating because I find that primarily things that are considered 'phases' are those moments when people embrace something fun and it doesn't work out, and everyone else decides to put them down for trying.
     
    #2 BookDragon, May 25, 2014
  3. TheStormInside

    TheStormInside
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    Re: Confused by sexuality...Could your sexual orientation be effected by mental illne

    Having depression and anxiety can subdue or kill your sex drive, but I don't think it would "warp" your orientation. The fact that you do have attraction, and it is to women, seems like it's less likely that your mental illness is a factor. The only thing I would say is... was your trauma something that would cause you to have negative or fearful feelings toward men? THAT could definitely temper how you see males, though I doubt it would cause you to like females.
     
    #3 TheStormInside, May 25, 2014
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