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What do I do?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Absurdity, May 25, 2014.

  1. Absurdity

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Hello!

    For a long time, I've thought of myself as hetero, but I've recently become aware that I'm attracted to men as well. I'm really not sure what's going on, whether this is just a phase, what I should do, etc. I've looked around for advice on how this whole process works, but I haven't been able to find any really solid, good advice yet. Is there anything I can do to help figure this out? What did you all do?

    Thanks so much.
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome to EC.

    I'll be honest with you, I don't think I've actually ever met anyone who had a genuine 'gay phase'. I've met people that had same sex attractions but feel in love with the opposite sex and were happy, but never anyone who had attractions and then it was completely gone...

    Anyway I'm rambling.

    Figuring things out can be easy depending on your circumstances.

    For starters, if you can get your mind to a place where you can accept that it doesn't matter WHAT the result of your discoveries is, it's still a good thing, then you'll be on the right track.

    Figuring things out will take time. A lot of people (including myself) try watching gay porn to see what happens, but the reality is a lot of the time that won't work. It's hard for a lot of people to get really into it when they are still questioning! As such, it's not a route I would recommend.

    Honestly I would just see what happens. If you see a guy you think is attractive, great. If it keeps happening, fine. If you find yourself ONLY noticing guys, you may well be gay. If you find yourself noticing guys AND girls, perhaps bi...you see where I'm going with this.

    It's not something you have to decide quickly, so try and just go with it...you don't really need to worry about defining it EVER if you don't want. You don't need to 'come out' as anything either.

    See what happens over time.
     
  3. Radioactive Bi

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I agree with ElliaOtaku. The important thing at this point is to create an accepting mindset that will accept the truth regardless. Only then can you honestly investigate how you feel without undue bias.

    This is what I had to do. Once I realised it was ok to like guys as much as girls, it was much easier to consider how I felt and understand my behaviour and attractions in retrospect.

    Hope you find your way. If you want anyone to talk to further about it, I'm on the site regularly.

    Happy days :slight_smile: