I'm a 24 year old male who is trying to figure out my sexuality. I've read lots of forum posts on here and now I wanna share my situation. I've dated girls my whole life. They're the gender I notice when I'm walking down the street. Girls are who I've always wanted to date. I feel like I've loved girls before and I love my current girlfriend. It was during my first serious relationship though when I started getting into gay porn. The feeling certain kinds of gay porn give me is a strong, in your chest, feeling. This feeling is something I've chased since I started watching porn. It started with anything involving girls, then changed to more taboo things involving girls, then changed to anything with guys, and now is only certain taboo things with guys. This feeling has never shown up with that sort of intensity outside of my porn watching. I've tried hooking up with a guy, but it did absolutely nothing for me. With girls, I definitely get turned on. I get hard, I want to touch them, I want them to touch me, I want to cum for the and I want them to cum for me. a And after we've had sex I feel happy. But these feelings still are not as intense as how I feel when I watch certain gay porn. It's actually kind of a totally different feeling. The arousal I feel with the gay porn is in my chest. My heart beats faster. With girls, I feel it sort of more in my core, and it can take more time for me to get really into it. I have no problem with liking gay porn. It makes me happy to watch it. And since I've gotten into, I've always been open and honest about it with my girlfriends. And none of them have had an issue with it. They've never felt threatened by it. The main reason I'm posting this, and the reason I feel anxious about my sexuality, is cus I don't want to be a 30 year old married man who suddenly hates having sex with his wife and has to leave her. I've read so many posts about that, and I shudder to think that I could be heading down that path. Is that strong, chest pounding feeling what sexual arousal really is? Could I somehow have fooled myself into wanting to kiss, tongue, and fuck girls? Cus I rarely get that feeling with them. But I honestly feel satisfied with the feeling they do give me. I love it. I've chased after it since the first time a girl kissed me. I'm just afraid it could just go away some day, after I've already made a family. I feel like I've examined myself pretty deeply and have tried to be very honest with myself. So I feel like this should be obvious to me by now, and I don't really care about what label I should give my sexuality, I just want to make sure I should be able to love her the way she deserves for as long as we're together. And can I do that if gay porn gives me a more intense arousal than she can. Again, I love being aroused by her, but should I be expecting the sort of arousal I get from certain, usually very taboo gay porn? I'd appreciate any advice
Not at all really. I've tried. It just didn't evoke any feelings. I have really good guy friends who I connect with in a special way, but I don't feel any need to kiss them or hold them. And I've honestly tried hard to imagine it. I just don't feel the need to do that with them.
Well, if you didn't enjoy hooking up with a guy and don't have romantic feelings toward guys, it sounds like your interest in guys is limited to porn.
If it weren't for online porn, I'm not sure I would have ever questioned my sexuality that much. Though I don't say that to deny whatever part of me is gay. I've actually felt very rewarded by exploring my sexuality ---------- Post added 25th May 2014 at 07:41 PM ---------- And that makes sense to me. And I'll happily masturbate to gay porn the rest of my life if that's what feels right. I'm just afraid it could become something else. Right now I can honestly say I feel no strong sexual desire to even try to hook up with a guy again. The time I did it, I was doing it to find answers, not because I had some desire to do it. But my taste in porn has already changed so much in my life, I just can't be sure my real sexual feelings won't change. I just don't want to break my girlfriend's heart years down the line. I guess I would want to know if gay men who came out after getting married went through this.
Right now you just sound straight, especially since you seem to have no romantic interest for guys nor the interest to hook-up. I think your desire is limited to porn, and the reason you get a more 'rushed' feeling with it is because it feels more taboo to you. Maybe try to spice your sex life up and see if the chest feelings become more intense.
It looks to me that you are still trying to figure out your sexuality and it seems like it only happens when you watch gay porn. Is there a specific type of gay porn that you watch such as interracial, bears, solo masturbation, etc that turns you on from it?
Yeah I've realized that what I look for in gay porn is that feeling of someone being used. I used to really enjoy it in straight porn, but it's like I got bored of it. So to get that chest pounding feeling I need to find gay porn where a man is being used by another man for physical pleasure. And if that image of a man being forced and used isn't in it, it doesn't do anymore, if not less, than straight porn for me. I also sympathize with something I've read other people say, that I'm not really even imagining myself as one of the two men. I don't really see myself in the situation, it's like the idea of it alone is what arouses me.
Yeah I've realized that what I look for in gay porn is that feeling of someone being used. I used to really enjoy it in straight porn, but it's like I got bored of it. So to get that chest pounding feeling I need to find gay porn where a man is being used by another man for physical pleasure. And if that image of a man being forced and used isn't in it, it doesn't do anymore, if not less, than straight porn for me. I also sympathize with something I've read other people say, that I'm not really even imagining myself as one of the two men. I don't really see myself in the situation, it's like the idea of it alone is what arouses me.
I'm sure it does in some way. In my heterosexual encounters, I've enjoyed being either dominant or submissive. I used to think I was mostly submissive, but with my current gf, I've really started to enjoy calling her a good girl while I fuck her or choke her as she's cumming. I really don't know where I would dit in a homosexual experience. Probably either still. I was just expecting my first real homosexual hook up to be more enlightening. I was thinking I might have that that "oh shit, this makes sense" feeling. But it ended being the only time in my life where I've made out with someone for an extended period of time and didn't feel inclined to get intimate. Maybe it's because it was my first time, or maybe he wasn't the right guy. I don't know.
Yeah, you're definitely straight with a dominance/submissive fetish, which is totally fine for you! I think It's just confusing because you get off to it in gay porn, but that probably doesn't mean much. I think you just like seeing it in gay porn because the straight stuff got boring (Have you ever tried looking for femdom? That might help). A lot of our lesbian members also love gay porn without being straight, so I think we're all in the same boat. Anything you can do with a man that makes you curious though, you can try with a woman (With the exception of taking a load on your face, that's kind of impossible haha) so see if you can switch your dominance and submissiveness up.
