Not Born Gay

Maybe because of your background you said you were born religious so im guessing that had an impact on who you liked, for instance you pull back anytime you touch a guy or your just bisexual you also said that a women can turn you on sexually and emotionally

 

You don't have to want a relationship with someone to be bisexual...

Think about it, how many straight people do you know who find someone of the opposite sex attractive but don't want to date them. They wouldn't question their attraction to the opposite sex just because they don't want a relationship...

 

Why would you?

Some people know, others don't. Environment has a lot to do with it. I mean if you don't know it's even a thing you're hardly going to assume it applies are you?

 

Maybe your gay and biromantic (if that's a word?) Or bisexual and homoromantic?. From your first experiments with men, it doesn't seem like attraction, more like lust or curiousity. I can't speak for the entire gay population, but no one immediately knows/admits 'I'm just born gay'. It's a process. There's a difference between me saying I think a girl is attractive and wanting to be more then a compliment. I'm sure even 100% straight guys can admit there are attractive guys and vice versa.

 

At 17 you're still going trough the tail end of puberty so I don't think it's unusual to only discover your attractions now... If you where 10 years older I'd say "WHAT???" but at 17 I figure your first experience was what, about 3 years ago round about when you hit puberty??? That is when most of us start to figure out who and what we are attracted to so pretty normal development in my opinion. When I was a kid I was hectically "in love" with a girl who I thought was everything a pretty girl should be... I was 7... Needless to say at age 17 after puberty hit I was checking out guys even though I considered myself to be straight... So does that mean I was born straight and turned gay? I mean I thought about it, a lot, but then there are so many other factors that I now just see it as part of a developmental phase. We are who we are and I don't think anything changes us into this or that. I'd like to think that maybe sexuality is fluid for some of us who are Bi... So sometimes you're more on the straight side and at other times more on the gay side until you meet THE ONE!

 

Hi sensesfail,

old religious conditioning is harder to totally break free of, than you might believe. I finally, decisively broke free only a month or two ago, despite not believing in the X'ian faith for ages before then (I mean seriously, are we really all inherently bad because our distant ancestor ate the wrong piece of fruit, urged on by a talking serpent? I mean let's get real here...) But despite knowing about the silliness of it all for ages, when the religious folk get access to you as young child, there is this strange lingering effect, even if you truly believe the whole lot is bollocks. I had that. I felt that being gay was somehow 'unnatural' and 'against the Divine Order' even while thinking that the premises of X'ianity were laughable, as I relate above. That's changed now, though, and in fact I see things the opposite way. I mean, why on earth would it feel so amazingly good to be penetrated rectally, why is the prostate gland right there close to the wall of the rectum, if not to provide the option of sexual pleasure for those of us who, in the vast and rich spectrum of human sexuality, happen to be gay? Nature delights in diversity, and this is also evident in human sexuality. There's nothing unnatural about it; if it's what you naturally feel then it's natural for you.

So I would take a look in my heart, is there still some lingering idea that being gay would somehow he inferior in any way to being straight?

 

It's also possible to have phases.

 

I've been wondering the same thing. As a child, I remember really liking girls (butterflies in the stomach, heart melting, etc.), stealing my dad's Playboys and looking at female porn online. Then, around age 14, something changed, and I started looking at gay and transexual porn. Did I turn gay? Or did I just not realize it when I was younger? It's hard to tell, but it really makes me wonder sometimes. I used to literally pray to god that I would get a girlfriend and was masterbating all the time to female pictures, but my sexual preference (at least in terms of porn) kind of changed out of nowhere. I really want to believe in the idea of sexuality being fluid, but it's a struggle when a majority of the population says otherwise!

 

Puberty is a tough time for lots of people. You honestly sound normal. Coming to grips with how you feel about people (male or female) is a tough time for people in your age group.

I hate to over simplify it... but it is a bit like having ice cream. if you only have vanilla as an option, you never consider having anything else, until by chance you get strawberry and realize "holy crap, why waste my time with vanilla".

 

maybe for the same reason many of us dont come to the realization untill later in life. your still young so your lucky in that regard.

 

Many of us are more gray about our attractions than we acknowledge. I don't believe I was born gay/bi/queer. 50 years ago, I would have lived as straight. But dating women has opened me up in so many ways that I choose to pursue that for the foreseeable future. Just because it's a choice doesn't make it any less real.

Also I totally get the pulling away from someone's touch thing: actually when I started meditating I became more aware of my body reactions and I noticed the same thing with one of my friends, and that's when I realized I had attraction to women. Crazy!

 

Except indicative evidences only supports the idea that there are some of us who actually had experiences changes in sexual orientation or at least points that way and can be explained through unexpected changes in sexual orientation. If I point those indicative evidence, you would say that these person had been in denial, and I agree that can explain some of the evidence, but also, I would concur that there's no evidence to suggest that it explains all of them.

By the way with the idea that only some of us had experienced changes in sexual orientation, did you know that the brain is susceptible to changes and all kind of different changes occurs? Even if the changes aren't caused intentionally. What makes sexual orientation exempt from this rule?