Hey I'm a bit confused about my sexuality. I have had many crushes on males, but If I ever fantasized about them, I just kind of picture cuddling with them and kissing, non-sexually. Every time I have almost kissed someone I freeze and shut down. This might be due to my anxiety (and I have had panic attacks after a guy admits he likes me back). I am thus very inexperienced sexually- I have only kissed one guy (that I didn't even know) when I was drunk. I didn't feel the attraction then, even though he was obviously attractive. I do fantasize about them (even having sex with them), but I don't actually imagine specific women. The thought of having sex with a man never really occurs to me and I never fantasize about it. I have never had an emotional crush on a woman, but I'm not sure if this is just because no one has ever shown interest in me. Does anyone have any advice/ similar experiences? Thank you!
There are a lot of factors here: what you want to do sexually, what you picture in fantasies, who youre emotionally attracted to, who you open up to better. Picking everything apart is a difficult task. There might be preferences for certain scenarios: you might want something different for a hookup or for a short term relationship or a long term relationship. The best thing to do is to relax and not overanalyze every decision; eventually you'll find someone you're comfortable experimenting with, or someone you want to actually date. When you do finally kiss someone pay attention to what it does to your body and mind and only do what you're comfortable with.
Basically I always picture myself in a long term relationship with a guy. With guys I like, I imagine cuddling and kissing, but not really in a sexual way. I am a pretty private person in general but I think I open up to females easier (I don't have too many guy friends). In fantasies I imagine having sex with women-- but never anyone I know. Basically my experiences have been: Relationship: I dated a guy when I was 15 and I had continuous stomach pains, causing me to end it. Hookup: A friend asked me to make out (I didn't like him but I guess I had been thinking about it being a possibility) but when it actually came down to it I froze and ran away (panic attack). And I know I'm supposed to experiment and whatnot but thats difficult to do when I don't want to 'come-out' per say to my whole college. Thanks for the reply
