I need some help: I've been coming out to some close friends as bi, and they've been very supportive (some surprise from some, as I'm what--sighs--many would refer to as "straight acting"). Anyway, it's made me re-visit the "bi or gay" question. I decided on the bi label because I still see women I'm attracted to and have been on a few dates in the past few months (never more thank make out, though). I've also been somewhat sexually involved with women, but I am much more sexually aroused and turned on by guys. I also think lately--given the right guy--that I want to be with a guy long-term. It kind of clicked last night when I went to fourth base with this guy, and it just felt so right to me... like, I sometimes think I want to be with a girl and could be happy with the right girl (my ex-gf, for example). But, I wonder if that isn't more just platonic attraction. I don't mind being gay, I just don't want to be dishonest to myself if I have feelings going the other way, or dishonest to relationships I've had in the past. Point being, I prefer guys. I don't want to get OCD with labels, but it's kind of important for me that I've thought this though before coming out more widely. Thanks for everyone who has helped me while I'm being annoying and confused... (&&&)
A lot of bisexual people have preferences, and it sounds to me like that's the case. You don't have to be equally attracted to both men and women to be bisexual. If you're attracted to both, even a little bit, then you wouldn't be lying to anyone by saying you're bisexual. If that's the label you're comfortable with you can stick to it! Hope I helped a little bit.
Thanks, birdking! That does help! I guess I am just wondering how much I am attracted to women, and whether I might just be gay. There is some breathing room with the "bi" label, but if I come out as gay, I want to be pretty confident that I am. I mean, I could see myself being happy with a girl, but I feel no urge to have romantic or sexual relations with women (although I have in the past); I am more sexually and romantically attracted to guys, and I could see myself being happy with a guy long-term. Ugh, so confusing hahaha. (!)
