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Orientation indication unreliable when going through stuff?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by aspie musician, May 28, 2014.

  1. Feel a bit mood swingy lately.Stress (not giving any more info than that)...
    Basically just wondering whether this may have an effect and whether I should trust myself to identify as anything at this time.

    Maybe I might not be objective at this point in time?Things have been pretty unusual regarding sexual attraction and just wondering if my emotional state may play a role.
     
  2. mangotree

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    You might have answered your own question.
    It sounds like deep down you don't 'trust yourself' at the moment and you want to relax and de-stress before soul searching in terms of orientation.
    Stress and worry makes ones mind jumbled and noisy, so probably take the time to sort that out first.

    Peace be with you and good luck.
     
  3. Hyaline

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    Stress can really effect our moods/wants and desires.

    When you look at what you are attracted to, is it same or opposite sex? Who do you see yourself in a romantic situation with? There is no wrong answer and the answer could of course be "both" as well.

    How long have you need considering this?
     
  4. lowkey

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    i think when making the switch its a little hard at first
    i believe people need to dive headfirst into being gay. as in just Go meet someone and have fun. you are stuck in limbo when you realize you are probably gay but are afraid to make the jump
     
  5. juliegt6

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    I think the best way to sort out orientation is to not get too hung up on it. Just let your thoughts go, feel things out and go with the flow. I'm cold and clinical on a lot of stuff, but this subject I firmly believe that having a laid back feel it out attitude is best.

    Sometimes situations and circumstances mess with us and make us attracted to someone who normally isn't on our radar, but that doesn't mean we can't try it out!
     
  6. I have been more opposite sex attracted.Thing is its usually more same sex attracted.
    I'm either bi/gay,I am not always sure to be honest...
    I can usually see myself with either gender on average...but I do go through times when one sex takes preference(used to be guys).
    Seem to notice women a lot more now though and its confusing...both sexually and emotionally I seem to be more attracted to them than men at this stage.
    Thought I would be happy about it but at the same time do not like the idea of conforming to society's norms...
    Find it hard to just imagine being with one gender though,although I do admit that I go through times in my life which could be considered as gay periods.Wish they would last though....

    I suppose I really want to be able to pick a side haha but now I am not even sure which side I prefer.It seems like for the past few weeks its been pretty much more opposite sex related...which is weird.Its interesting on the one hand but I do not know how long it will last either.

    I suppose I do not want to identify myself as bi really,it feels like I will miss out on relationships that way.

    If I identify myself as gay it just does not feel right either...feels like I am lying.I am sure it will make some other people happy...but then there are those that know that I do not really fit that category most of the time.

    Honestly feel like not identifying myself as anything long term haha...

    Feels like I will be missing out whichever gender I end up with.Find both interesting in their own way.

    I suppose it depends on the person in the end...

    Further on do not know if I am completely comfortable with actually getting down to the sexual aspect of things with either gender....

    Will see what happens though...maybe things will be more clear when I feel less stressed out.

    Depending on how long this type of thing lasts etc think I should just chill a bit.

    ---------- Post added 28th May 2014 at 09:51 PM ----------

    As for ''probably being gay''-thats the problem.Probably.I do not know.
    If I knew without a doubt that I was I would have identified myself as gay by now...
    And the first while when I do identify myself that way feels awesome...but there is always something at the back of my mind or something that happens that makes me doubt it again...
    I would just want some certainty for once.I do not really want to be bisexual(if that is what I am)...
    That label seems to make the most sense though.Sometimes I am tempted to just ''make a decision'' and ''stick to one gender''.It would just make things easier...would probably not be completely truthful though which bothers me.

    Bisexuality is not really recognized in South Africa either...

    Thing is if I had to pick a side I honestly do not know whether I will be more happy with a male or a female.Always thought it would be a male but recently been having a weird time.

    Hoping that if I end up with a guy/girl that eventually I will have a more clear preference.But do not know if this is realistic....

    I would really like to be gay in a way but I just do not know if I am really...
     
  7. Maybe I should just pick a side.
    Maybe being true to yourself is overrated anyway.
    It will make things easier for others and myself anyway.
     
  8. Hyaline

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    I totally disagree with everything here. I think this is an amazingly bad idea.

    Being true to yourself is the only way you can ever be happy in your own skin. Making it easier on others is never going to make you feel that way about yourself. if you don't love yourself enough to want to live as the person you are, then you need to work on that before working to love someone else.

    Down the road when you get to a hurdle, and you will, you'll be wondering how you got here and why your life isn't moving in a direction that you wanted it to go. instead, you've made every decision based on someone elses' direction and followed them instead of lead your own life..

    You can compromise your values and sacrifice your own truths for the sake of someone else, but if that someone else doesn't exist in your world yet, why lie to yourself?

    What is wrong with being bi? or heck bi-curious? (I know that is more of a craigslist ad label). Not sure how labeling yourself "bi" will let you miss out on relationships. If the person is going to pass you by because of that, then they aren't committed to having a relationship with you including all your good and bad parts.

    If you like girls, date girls. if you like guys, date guys. If you like both, date both. When you find the person you want to spend your life with, it'll make more sense. For now, I would just skip adopting the label as it sounds like you simply aren't at a point where you can live under one. (and that is in no way a bad thing).
     
  9. Makes sense
    Thanx