I think of romantic love in different ways. I have had feelings for guys, but I feel like they never develop unless there is a chance of reciprocation; as soon as they are not reciprocated I feel anger but not real "in-love" feelings. One time I told a friend I liked him, he said he didn't feel the same way, and then we didn't ever talk about it again but went on to become good friends. On the other hand, my crushes on women have been more or less unreciprocated and that hasn't affected how strongly I feel them. I had a crush on a straight (debatable?!) friend for the better part of a year and I still can't fully be around her comfortably. I dated another woman who didn't reciprocate the feelings I had for her and it didn't diminish what I was feeling. It's harder for me to detach myself from my feelings when it comes to women. For this reason I still think it's possible to fall for a man someday but my feelings for ladies take a very different form, even though I am more or less equally physically responsive to men and women. Anyways this was just my recent observation, as I'm trying to get over two women that I will probably never date. Has anyone else experienced a similar gender-divergent difference in romantic feelings? Does a man/woman being trans* affect this pattern at all for you?
That's interesting. I used to get crushes on guys, but they all went away really fast and I think I'm unlikely to have one again. I'm not sure if I've had a crush on a girl, I think I have but it was before I identified as lesbian so I didn't recognize it as a crush at the time. It did last a while longer than any of my guy crushes, if I didn't see them for a while, my feelings went away, but I thought about this girl a lot even after we stopped talking- we no longer have any classes together and don't see each other at all- and I was really sad for a while after that.
One thing that really confuses me is that I'm starting to think I'm swinging towards gay with little to no interest in women, and yet I've been madly in love with a girl a few years ago. Like while we were together I couldn't stop thinking about her for more than 2 minutes at a time and it took me 2 or 3 years to get over her.... I'm only just over her. But I'm not sure I ever wanted to bang her, bearing in mind I was 14/15 when we were together. Never fancied another dude, certainly never been in love. Only ever felt admiration thus far for those of my own sex.
